5SOS b×b smut

PHONE SEX - MASHTON (part 1)

Luke's phone number either ends with an eight or a six- or maybe it's a three? He can't tell because of the fucking brown ring that borders the number and smudges the last blue digit behind recognition. Fucking Calum. He figures he might as well try all of the numbers, and if it turns out it’s not any then he'll repeat the three month process of waiting for a glimpse of the lesser spotted fucking barista.

Fuck it. He's got to try, hasn't he?

"Hi, Luke? It's Ashton here. Ashton Irwin?”

“Well, hello there Ashton Irwin.” And shit wow, okay, that's definitely not Luke.

The voice on the other line can only be described as sultry- this guy is practically purring his name. And well… it doesn't sound terrible. “Um, who’s this?” Ashton asks, tentatively intrigued.

“I’m whoever you want me to be, baby,” is the reply, and it's in the same sensual tone as before- so that's just their voice, then, which is quite weird. Ashton can practically hear the smirk through the telephone line. It's terrifying.

“I, uh- I think I've got the wrong number?” Ashton squeaks.

“Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Tell me, Ashton Irwin, are you looking to have the best orgasm of your life? Because I could give that to you, right now. Is that what you want, big boy?” Jesus. Fucking. Christ. He’s only gone and called a fucking sex hotline, obviously. Because his luck is just that spectacular.

“I’m, I’m- I’m gonna go?” It's not that the offer of ‘the best orgasm of his life’ isn't a promising one: in fact, Ashton would fucking love to have the best orgasm of his life.

Not like this, though. Not over the phone, not talking to some guy with an admittedly appealing voice and a dirty mouth, not when Calum is two rooms over.

“Oh come on, Ashy," they whine, “have a little fun with me! I promise I can make it worth your while."

“No, no thank you, perfectly fine as I am. Thank you for the offer.” Ashton is shaking his head, though he knows that the mystery voice can't see that.

“Well, when you change your mind you know who to call.” Ashton almost scoffs. Believe him, he won't be changing his mind.

“Yep, I’ll- I’ll bare that in mind," Ashton mutters.

“The best orgasm of your life, Ashton. Your entire life.” And God, the voice. It sounds like honey, like sin, like silk that Ashton just wants to drape over his body and like, suffocate in. This voice could tell him to walk off a cliff and he would probably do it.

“Uh huh. Okay. Bye bye now!” Ashton puts the phone down and tries to remember how to breathe.

That might have been like, the weirdest experience of his entire fucking life, maybe? And he's a student. He's seen some weird ass shit in his short lifetime.

He tries again. “Luke? Luke it’s-”

“The number you have dialled has not been-” Ashton hangs up.

Fucking Calum.

“Prepare to die, Hood!” Ashton yells, before he's jumping out of his seat and legging it down the hall into Calum’s room. The other boy is nowhere to be seen but there's a suspiciously human boy shaped lump under the bedcovers. Ashton dives on top of said lump, jabbing at it with his fingers.

Calum is wheezing and laughing, begging Ashton to end his assault.

“Never!” Ashton cries, but the air is punched out of his lungs as Calum pushes him off the bed. He lands on the hardwood floor, gasping and groaning from the force of impact. He's probably like, broken his back or something. Calum has killed him.