Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia

43: So, I'm dating a sorceress

"Relax? I'm relaxed. I'm a total dating guru."

"It's okay. I know this is your first date."

"What? Darci and I went on a date last Tuesday. I'm nervous because this is your first date."

"Claire and I had lots of dates."

"Trollhunting missions don't count, Jimbo."

"What about when we kissed on the bluff during Spring Fling?"

"You almost kissed. Then, you ran off to fight Angor Rot. Trollhunting mission."

"I went to her barbecue."

"And you fought your own clones. Darci will be there, so you two can't talk about trolls. What else are you going to talk about? Promise me this. No Spanish, alright? You talk in Spanish when you get nervous around Claire."

"Okay, what's your plan?"

"Keep it classic. Dinner and a movie. We just need to follow my three golden rules of love hunting."

"I already hate where this is going."

"Number one. The art of conversation. Pull inspiration from what's around you. Her hair, the food, ze ambiance." He picked up a basketball. "Oh, hello. How did I not see you there? Your dimples are so exquisite, and your skin is so radiant an orange. Have you been to the beach?" he handed Jim the ball. "You try."

"Uh...hi?" he waved to the basketball. "Your head is so...round. You look like you're...having a ball. Muy hermosa!"

"No Spanish! Now, number two. Physical contact. This is where the movie comes in. Specifically, a scary one. It's why I picked Danger house 2: More House, More Danger." He sat next to him on the bleachers, holding his own basketball, and started imitating Darci. "Oh, I can't look! It's so scary! Hold me close. Tell me when it's safe to look." He set the ball down. "And most importantly, rule number three. Above all else, never let them go to the bathroom together."

"Why not?"

"Why not? Girls don't pee, they conspire! They'll talk about us and that's when things will go south. Then, if all goes well when we walk them home, we'll seal the night with a kiss." He picked up a ball and started kissing it.

"I told you, Domzalski!" Coach Lawrence said. "Quit making out with the equipment!"

***

"Our Dark Underlord has returned from his journey!" Usurna said as Gunmar walked into the forge, with Draal behind him. "My loyal followers," Gunmar said. "I have traveled far and have returned with the answer on how to bring forth our Eternal Night. The Staff of Avalon. My trusted advisor must have seen this coming. For he says the Pale Lady speaks through him in visions."

"Obviously, Milord," Dictatious said. "The Staff of Avalon. Merlin's staff came to me in a dream. A relic of great power."

"Liar!" Gunmar growled. "I spoke to the Pale Lady. She told me who you truly are. A fraud!"

"Please, Gunmar. After everything, we've been through. I stayed by your side. I betrayed my kind."

"Meaningless!"

"I know how to find the staff!"

Gunmar's Decimaar blade appeared in his hand. "Usurna?" Dictatious said. "Usurna!"

"Traitor!" she said.

"You have earned your just re—" Gunmar's sword got knocked out of his hand before he could finish. Aaarrrgghh jumped from where he was, his GumGum helmet falling off. "Aaarrrgghh," Gunmar growled. "After him!"