Carl Grimes/Chandler Riggs Imagines

Carl x Self Harm Reader~Savior

Life was beginning to seem more pointless with each passing hour. You felt as if nobody would care too greatly about your death, but you never were motivated enough to go through with it. Everything just felt so...meaningless. The only thing you lived for anymore was your group members, including Carl Grimes. To be honest, you had a large crush on Carl, but why would he want anything to do with someone who purposely causes themself pain?

It hurt, having the knife drag across your skin, but it was the only way you were able to feel any comfort to the hell you were living each day. You couldn't even remember what had started this harmful obsession, you didn't want to remember what started it.

"How long has it been?" You asked yourself, just below a whisper. "How long have I been like this?"

You pushed down gently, making sure not to cut a vein. Thick beads of blood quickly showed up and trickled down your arm. This was pure bliss for you, at least however, until your senses kicked back in and you hissed silently, trying to ignore the pain shooting through your forearm. Even through you had done this many times before, it always seemed to hurt worse than the first time. Drawing in a shaky breath, you exhaled slowly as to not cause the adrenaline to kick in.

>>>

Soon, the blood stopped flowing and your heart rate slowed. Lowering your eyes disappointedly, loud yawns echoed through the cell block, warning you that the others had woken up. The sun had only begun to rise, but the block was already filled with signs alertness. You made sure to clean up the blood before anyone took notice and pulled down your sleeves before exiting your cell. The paranoid thoughts of your friends finding our had subsided when you entered Cell Block A and were casually greeted by a few of your friends.

"Hey,(F/N)."

You slightly flinched when you heard the voice you always yearned to hear. You turned around slowly, locking your gaze with Carl's.

"Morning, Carl." You muttered, waving slightly, arms burning from the movement.

You held in the dire urge to hiss loudly as you waited for him to respond.

"Are you okay, (F/N)?" He asked, somewhat squinting as he stared at you. "You seem...off."

You felt your body grow increasingly tense as he attempted to see through your act.

"Anyway, I was hoping that you could go out to the garden and pull weeds, today. I would do it myself, but I'm going along on the run."

"Yeah, sure." You said, not wanting to disappoint him.

"Great, thanks!" He exclaimed, rushing back to his cell, grabbing the handgun he kept hidden under his mattress.

Before starting, you ran back to your cell and changed into a pair of dirty blue-jeans, as to keep your fresh ones clean. When you were done, you made your way out into the yard and grabbed a shovel, getting ready to start working. Right before you were going to start, a few reeves of car engines caught your attention. Glancing over, you saw three cars containing all of your friends approaching the gate.

"What're you staring at (F/N)?" A voice asked from behind you.

You flinched once again and looked to see Carl, now without his gun and hat. This made your heart race, seeing that he hardly ever parted with his hat.

"Carl, why aren't you going with everyone else?" You asked curiously.

"They didn't need my help, so my dad told me to stay behind." He sighed, reaching down and grabbing a shovel that was lying in the dirt. "Besides, there's a lot of weeds in here, your not gonna get done without some help."