Rituals, Regrets, and Really Dumb People

Chapter 5: Badly Done Children's Art, Part 5

I walked out and Dimitri closed his door. I went to my room and I looked between the two of them sleeping there on the carpet. Lilly looked much like the kid; innocent, helpless, worn out from all the fun.

I picked up the kid first and I carried her to the bed, sat her on the left side. I picked Lilly up afterwards and I sat her on the right, letting both of them have the bed and to keep each other warm. I took to the floor; even though Meredith had blocked me, and even though I had nothing to keep me loyal to her anymore, I did not feel right sharing a bed with Lilly, regardless of how harmless it was. Meredith was still my wife, and, as rotten as I was, I took my vows seriously.

I did some thinking while I laid there on the floor; I did some searching. With time, I became sleepy, but I didn't give in until I thought about it. Before I closed my eyes and let the sleep take me, I came to a conclusion. I knew what I'd say to He now. I knew now what I wanted to do, for the first time in my life with a crystal-clear lucidity.

When we got up the next day, me and Lilly fixed the kid some breakfast. Lilly liked making pancakes, and, fortunately enough for us, the monks had the materials for it. Strawberry pancakes, the kid loved them. Even I ate some despite the fact I wasn't a morning—or breakfast—person.

We spent the day playing again, letting the kid explore and enjoy herself. I played observer to the both of them catching frogs at the end of the creek, outside the walls, and I watched them talking with the townsfolk that gave me wary looks. I didn't mind it; Lilly and the kid were happy and enjoying themselves and that's all that mattered to me.

As the day turned to night again, we went to the temple's altar chamber this time, not to our room. It was time, again, for He to return, and we were joined with the warrior-monks and Thimble and Dimitri as we waited. It wasn't long; He knew when to show up, and this time he brought Jessica with him upon entry.

"I have returned," He said with a display of razzle-dazzle and a flare of cheap glitter that shot everywhere. Lilly and the kid were all happy about the pyrotechnics firing off, as fake and illusionary as they were. "Where is Mathias?"

"Here I am," I said to him. I, Lilly, and the kid were sitting in a pew, second from the front, just biding our time until He came. "Why is Jessica here?" I asked.

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world," Jessica replied.

"It's true. We're all curious to what you want to do, Mathias. Have you thought well on it?"

I gave a nod.

"Have you taken your time to make sure it is what you want to do?"

I looked over to the kid and to Lilly before I returned to He. I gave another nod.

"Well then, what is it that you want to do, Mathias?"

"I want to change for the better," I told He. "I want to give up my old ways. I want this life, the one I've lived for the past two days. I want better days. I want to be a better man."

He smiled. "Excellent, my duderino. You know, though, that you'll have to give up—"

I gave an adamant nod. I knew what I had to give up. "I know. My blood magic and my worship of She. I wish I could talk to her—"

He shook his head. "She's hurt, but not because of that. She will talk to you again one day, some day. She watches over you even now. But let's not spoil the moment for now, though, shall we."

It still saddened me, She's silence, but I gave in. "Okay."

"You know, your blood magic, it doesn't have to be removed."