Things For the Grammar-Impaired Writers

GRAMMAR:

(^^ OMFG EWWWW!! Get it off, get it off!! The boringness! It's suffocating!! Gaahhh-h-h-h-hhhh....)

The Prologue To This Whole Rant On Grammar That Doesn't Have Any Place To Go Besides In The Prologue:

People hate grammar. Or I should say, most people hate grammar. Of course why should we, when we can just use text-speak and "then" for "than"?

BECAUSE WE'RE WRITERS. We're expected to be the gods and goddesses of grammar. Which they is that and then is than and what the hell is "you're"?

PLEASE READ THIS. Because even if 9 out of 10 doctors reccommend not using grammar, we still gotta do it.

So I've been reading a lot of stuff here on Wattpad, and frankly...some of the most popular works on here have awful grammar. It makes me want to cry and punch someone. I mean, I get it: we all can't be grammar gods and goddesses. I'm not. I know I'm not :P But some of these people just need to EDIT! JUST A LITTLE BIT! It's the simple things, guys. Really. Some stories on here would be totally awesome if they would just fix some stuff!!

THE TO/O'S:

TWO: The number 2. 1+1. I can't make it any simpler than that. :\ 

Sentence:I bought enchiladas for two hobos.

TOO:  

1. In addition to; 

Sentence: The boy was poor, miserable, and ugly, too. 

2. to an excessive amount or degree 

Sentence: She was too angry to speak 

3. more than should be 

Sentence: He stood too close to the killer whale.

TO: 

Everything else.Sentences: Alfred went to the store. He traveled from here to there. Alfred only grew to six feet. ETC

--

THE THERE'S:

THERE:

1. into or to that place. 

Sentence: We went there when the weather turned bad. 

2. In or at that place: 

Sentence: She was over there.

THEIR: 

1. The possesive of a group of people. 

Sentence: The children lost their ball to the creeper van.

THEY'RE 

1. A contraction, meaning "they are" 

Sentence: They're getting the milk.

**Note: If you're not sure about when to use "they are", look at your sentence and write out the whole thing. For example, "They lost they're ball" would be INCORRECT because if you write it out, "They lost they are ball" sounds moronic.

-- 

THE YOU'S: I can't stress this one enough!!

YOUR: 

1. Possesive of "you". When you own something. 

Sentence: Your dog is just filthy.

YOU'RE: 

2. A contration, meaning "you are". 

Sentence: You're going to be home by eleven, right?

Note: Think about this: If the sentence makes sense when you write out "you are", then it fits. For example, "You're dog is cute" WOULD NOT be correct, because the full sentence would read, "You are dog is cute." (WTF?!)

---

THE THEN'S: 

THEN: 

1. At the time 

Sentence: Gas prices weren't so high back then. 

2. immediately; soon afterward 

Sentence: The dog stopped barking and then started again. 

3. Next in order of time. 

Sentence: The dog stopped barking, then flew to the moon. 

4. Next in order of place 

Sentence: Standing by the circus freak was the hobo, then the then the crack-addict, then the dog. 

5. In that case; as a consequence 

Sentence: If you're too weak, then you should stay home.

THAN: 

1. When comparing objects 

Sentence: Edward Cullen was more sparkly than Dracula. 

2. Expressing a rejected choice 

Sentence: I would rather eat the donut than the bagel. (Seriously, bagels suck. I'm jus' sayin.) 

3. Except; other than. 

Sentence: After the cat peed in the car, we had no choice than to go home. 

4. When. 

Sentence: We had just entered Disney than we had to leave right away.

Other stupid English rules that we know you don't like but still have to use anyways:

LOSE AND LOOSE: 

LOSE: 

1. When you misplace or forget an object. Or to have less of something. 

Sentence: Did you lose your socks again? How much money did you lose at poker? 

2. To be defeated, to not win, etc. 

Sentence: Did you lose another game of poker?

LOOSE: 

1. opposite of "tight". 

Sentence: The thread was loose on the sweater.

IT[']S

ITS:

1. the possesive form of "it".

Sentence: Its tentacles were moving!

IT'S

1. A contraction; it is

Sentence: After three hours, it's finally raining.

I'll add onto this when I get pissed again about people using bad grammar and other things that bother me. (Such as using text speak. OHH God, do I have a whole section to write about THAT)

But seriously, people! DON'T USE BAD GRAMMAR! -sulks and walks away, muttering and kicking muffin baskets-

That is all. :)

(FOR NOW!!! KILLER ON TEH LOOSE!! END OF CHAPTER 1!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNN)