alpha - jikook

nine

how can i keep this act up for so long?

how can i keep hiding my identity behind a mask-- keep being someone i'm not?

minmin --- or in other words, jimin asked himself-- and the answer to that was simple. .he couldn't. as much as he loved seeing jeongguk's big smiles and hearing his cute little laughs-- all because of the "puppy" that is minmin, a persona jimin created even though it wasn't really who he truly was. . . jimin knew well he couldn't keep up his lies, couldn't keep covering up the truth.

the dog, someone jeongguk grew to love, whom he believed was real, a treasured puppy that he believes will stick next to him for eternity. he couldn't simply proceed pretending, putting up an act forever and most importantly, lying to someone he loved the most with his entire being. the only person who accepted him for who he was. jeon jeongguk.

he couldn't keep being "minmin," especially when he knows well if he keeps this up for longer, it would fail altogether because he wasn't just an ordinary puppy. not simply a lost dog seokjin and his team found in the pouring rain-- nor a dog who lost his way from his mother's safe arms.

it was uncomprehendable, it was never in the rulebook for a wild animal such as him to roam the lands of the earthlings. the issue was growing, and that specific problem was--

jimin was an alpha.

yes, an alpha. he had wolves' blood running in his veins, an animal human souls fear, one of the beasts they cower at the mention of.

dogs were family-oriented animals, they play with toys, build relationships.. they were allowed to do what they wanted. they were allowed to love.

and jimin wasn't permitted to do that.

well rather, in his world, it wasn't.

moving on, despite being close relatives with the mammals, he still had other needs that dogs didn't, well, specifically have. it wasn't easy, having to put an act up in front of his owner-- someone he's supposed to entrust all of him to. (his original plan said it was for the best.) although the thought of how his body would betray him completely left his mind. and that's where their differences start to show.

and needs.. needs that his biology "cursed" him with.

and that is of course, his rut.

jimin was an alpha, of course he needed to deal with it as much as he wanted to avoid it. but he can't. and worse, he can't lock himself in his bedroom space and take care of it himself like he used to do. but besides that, it was difficult. he had to experience it alone. he wanted to feel how it was to trust somebody-- connect with them and create a deep intimacy and love for each other.

well, he had jeongguk now, and jeongguk would want to be with his dog, minmin (aka jimin) 24/7, who wouldn't?

but that wasn't how it worked. ruts made him want to breed, breed and breed. jeongguk wasn't created for that, hell, would he even agree to helping him?

jimin would gladly crawl into the smallest space just to escape from his current problem, he's petrified! he's convinced that if he doesn't, there would be a big chance of his wolf losing control and hurting the soft-hearted boy which was something jimin never wished to see. he could already see the disappointment, betrayal and hurt flashing in those favorite doe eyes of his, and it already hurt him badly. (his jeongguk was precious, he caused his heart to shake as well as cause  butterflies to dance in his tummy when he thinks of the cute baby bunny smile.)

his other choice was running away before jeongguk had a chance to even find out his true identity, before his rut started. it was the best choice, but jimin didn't want to. call him selfish, but over the small span of weeks, he had already had his heart set on the boy. you can't blame him, he's been so absorbed in the fact that someone is taking care of him, someone actually CARES. someone LOVES him. he can't let that go, not when he's heard cruel words from the people who passed his playpen and gave him offending stares at the pet shop. again, it was the best choice, and his mind was agreeing with him, but his heart was stating the exact opposite.

there was a contradiction though, jimin couldn't return to his world, not after everything he's been through. after all the pain they inflicted on him. the lies they repeated like a mantra--- the rituals they performed to symbolize devotion. it made jimin want to throw up. the scars and the memories were still fresh in his mind.

they had left a deep scar on jimin, his body tainted with their filthy hands. the injuries slowly turned into regrets, regrets that he let them put a symbol on his body to represent those filthy bastards.

so he will stay, no matter what it takes. the bunny boy made him feel loved, and he'll return that love back to him. jeongguk believed in him when no one did. jeongguk loves him.

but does he love him to an extent where he'd accept him for who he truly was?

"minnie! your dinner's ready!"

yeah, jeongguk will accept him. he'll heal him. he'll erase the pain, even for just a moment.

"baby! come to gukkie!"

he's sure of it.

•••

no jimin wasn't raped haha, but hey u got a jimin's pov :) also, did you get the hints? hehe (and like r u ready jimin's rut bc i am)

i had a heart attack bc my phone had a software update while i was updating :(( so i thought all of this got deleted but i found it in my revisions so bless ♡ -shimi