INT. GRANDPA AND JACK'S APARTMENT
JACK woke up to GRANDPA and his fling of the morning banging on his wall. He puts his pillow over his head to drown them out. After a few seconds he gives up and headsinto the bathroom to take a shower. He then heads to the kitchen where he finds Grandpa eating breakfast in the nude.
JACK
Cold?
GRANDPA looks down at himself in all of his nudity.
GRANDPA
Fuck no! I'm as hot as my asshole after a night eating jalapeños.
JACK
Where's your company?
GRANDPA stands up and opens the refrigerator and grabs a large bottle of Gatorade.
GRANDPA
The cat left out the back.
He takes a long sip of Gatorade.
GRANDPA (cont'd)
Ahhh. Remember son, hydration is your
friend.
GRANDPA put the Gatorade back in the refrigerator and then opens the bottom of the fridge and leans down to grab an apple. JACK turns to get an eyeful of Grandpa's hairy ass.
JACK
Heh! Do you mind?
Grandpa looks back over his shoulder.
GRANDPA
Don't mind if you do, soak me in. So, what do you have planned for this beautiful Saturday my boy?
JACK
Not much.
GRANDPA
Life is not going to stop for you to jump on.
JACK
I know.
GRANDPA
You're in a God damn rut! When your Grandma was alive, God rest her soul.She got to a point where she did not want to travel beyond where her feet could take her. I tried to talk her into going to Europe, the Caribbean, Mexico, or just a road trip to L.A.
But she got us both into a rut. English muffin, half a grapefruit, and a cup of tea.
JACK
Grapefruit?
GRANDPA
Every day for the last 10 years of her life. English muffin, half a grapefruit, and a cup of tea. Then it was to the bank, shopping, and then home to call her sister to talk about what was ailing her that week. Don't get me wrong I loved my Katie with all of my soul, but in a way I felt like my soul was being held back.
JACK
I never knew.
GRANDPA
When Grandma died. The next day I satdown at the kitchen table with...
JACK
An english muffin, half a grapefruit, and a cup of tea.
GRANDPA
That's right. I was buttering my english muffin when I looked at the grapefruit and tea I thought I want something else.
JACK
What about the muffin?
GRANDPA points at the cupboard.
GRANDPA
I ate the muffin, they're delicious.
Do you want one?
JACK shakes his head no.
JACK
No thanks, so you were saying you hate
grapefruit and tea.
GRANDPA
That's right, and as a labor of love I was eating it for Grandma. But Grandma was in heaven now so I threw out all of the grapefruit and tea.
JACK
Then what?
GRANDPA
Then I went to have some donuts!
And you know what?
JACK
What?
GRANDPA
They were good. I must have eaten a
dozen just myself, Glazed, sugar, chocolate glazed, cream and jelly filled, old fashioned. I just sat there and ate one after the other.
GRANDPA
And the funny thing about change, once you start, then it's like a virgin losing her cherry, she figures she already did it once I might as well be a slut.
JACK
What did you do next?
GRANDPA
I got laid.
JACK
Really?
GRANDPA
Damn right. That first month I musT have slept with a dozen women, tall, skinny, fat, small, Asian, Black, Mexican, and some a blend of them all.
JACK
Wow.
GRANDPA
The all night buffet was open. I was a man at the end of his life realizing what life is all about.
JACK
Pussy and donuts?
GRANDPA
Choosing to be happy.
JACK
Grandpa.
GRANDPA
Yes Jackie.
JACK
Could you put on some pants?
GRANDPA
No can do. I have many ladies to say bye to. Can't waste anytime with pulling pants up and down.
GRANDPA stands up and walks back upstairs leaving JACK only smiling. Jack turns and looks towards the stairway.
JACK
You're a crazy mother fucker!
YOU ARE READING
I QUIT
General FictionJim is living a normal life until tragedy changes his life forever. He will have to decide between starting over or continue living in this life of mediocrity.
