BMC and DEH Oneshots: South Park

Jeremy vs Michael

The Shop room. Jake, Rich, Jared, and Connor sit before a power miter box. Connor is feeding it wood

Connor: I wonder why Evan didn't wanna take shop class? Cuts out two slabs

Jared: I don't know. He's such a wuss.

Mr. Adler: Passing by Hey! Don't screw around! You screw around too much!

Rich: You know, you guys are totally wrong about Jeremy. Michael is way worse than he is.

Jake: No he's not, dude. Michael's a wuss.

Rich: Dude, if Jeremy and Michael got in a fight, Michael would kick Jeremy's ass.

Jared: You wanna bet?

Rich: Yeah, I'll bet.

Connor: Same.

Jake: How much?

Connor: Five-hundred bucks.

Jake: You're on!

Rich: Hey! Some of us aren't wealthy!

Jared: Lower it.

Connor: Fine. Twenty bucks.

Jared and Jake walk up to Jeremy

Jared: Hey, Jer.

Jeremy: Oh. Hey guys.

Jake: Dude. Michael chooses you. He wants to fight.

Jeremy: He... He does?

Jake: Yeah. He's all pissed off at you. So, will you fight?

Jeremy. Why?

Jared: Because! You have to stand up for yourself! So will you fight him?

Michael is leafing through the scraps

Jeremy: He doesn't look like he wants to fight me.

Rich: Michael, could I talk to you real quick?

Michael: Sure, what's up?

Rich: Now, we're not normally ones to get involved in this kind of thing but, well, we were just standing over by Jeremy, and, he called you a shit-eater.

Michael: He did?

Connor: Yeah. He said you, for a snack, eats little pieces of shit.

Michael: Why would he say that?

Connor: I don't know, Michael, I don't know. But now he's over there telling everybody that you're a shit-eater and he chooses you.

Michael: What?! Well, I'm gonna go over there and-

Rich: Blocks his way No, no! Michael, you can't fight him here; Mr. Adler would just break it up. Tell you what: I'll go tell him you accept his challenge, and set it up for after school today.

Michael: Okay. Flips Jeremy off

Jared: There. Did you see? He just flipped you off.

Jeremy: What a douche!

Jake: He's really got it out for you, dude.

Jeremy: Why?! What did I do?!

Jake: So, do you agree to fight him after school?

Jeremy: I guess so.

Jared: See you there!

Jared and Jake walk away, pleased