Not the Usual Trip to the Bathroom

Converse and Mini Wieners

A/N:

So.... Remember how I said I'd update every other week? 

Heh *nervous laugh* 

Well I've been super busy doing stuff for college and shit, and it's not like I've got a million readers jumping down my throat- not that I don't appreciate those of you who have been reading. 

So thank you xoxoxo

I wish nothing but Calum's willy wanker pics for all of you. 

I hope you enjoy and keep reading and vote and comment and and and and and I don't know what else so yeah here you go mah darlings

Ps I'm listening to their album so it's putting me in a 5saucy mood.

so saucy.

***

The doors of the elevator slid open to reveal what was probably once a lavish penthouse, but now looked like a tornado had gone through it. Twice.

Or, in other words, like a bunch of teenage boys were staying there.

And then, speak of the devil (or should I say devils?), two boys, one with cotton candy colored hair and one with curly blonde hair, traipsed out into the hall. A third with dark, and almost curly or wavy hair, trailed behind, staring intently at something on his phone.

They noticed me standing at Luke's side like a brainless puppy.

Well.

Puppy implies I was cute. And furry. But definitely cute, no matter how brainless, and I was most certainly not feeling very cute, especially compared to these sex gods of teenage boys. Although I probably wasn't as furry as they were, but hey, I don't know how fuzzy their butts are, so I don't know if that's an accurate assessment.

Anyways, the one with the dyed hair stepped forward and- Oooh. How formal. He offered a handshake, so I reached out. 

And then he punched my boob. "YOUR BOOB'S BLEEDING", he shouted, jabbing a finger into my boob.

"YOU HIT HER THAT HARD!?" the one with dirty blonde hair shrieked. 

"Its ketchup." I raised in eyebrow. "You know, usually I'd sucker punch someone who repeatedly fondled my breasts."

Luke sighed, "that's Michael. If you're going to hit the lad, I highly suggest some where in the southern region. That one there is Calum-" he pointed to the raven haired beauty.

Raven haired beauty...That was poetic. I could legit write poetry about these stud muffins. 

Now I want a muffin. Or muffins. Plural is good. 

"- and that's Ashton" Luke interrupted my baked goods-centered thoughts and pointed to the curly haired blondie.

"And this, my dear compadres" Luke said, turning to me, "is Elise"

Awkward silence.

"CALUM'S DING-A-LING IS ALL OVER TWITTER" Ashton blurted. Looking up from his phone, Calum shoved Ashton, his cheeks turned red.

"Great, Cal. Fantastic," Luke shook his head.  

Calum shrugged. "Not much I can do now. Silly mistake." Silly mistake? Silly willy, more like it...

"So uh, not to make things awkward or anything, but why aren't you fangirling?" Calum scratched the back of his neck.

"Already awkward, Cal." Michael giggled, eyeing Calum's phone.

"Um, why aren't you fangirling over ME?" I shot back. 

"OH EM GEE IT'S ELISE SOMETHINGLASTNAME ERMAHGAWD CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH" Ashton squealed and tackled me.