[R u n]
"Memories are crumbling
like dried flower leaves.
On my fingertips and
under my feet, and
behind my back, like
chasing butterfly or
wondering in dreams,
I follow your traces.
Please guide me,
please stop me.
Please let me breathe."
Φ
NO matter how crazy she ran, she remained in the same place; no matter what she said or thought, she was still on track towards a foolish fate; no matter how many times she changed herself, her body was still a merely borrowed vessel; no matter where she wandered and roamed she did not find her desired destination.
Her eyes were always puffy, red and sore as it worked hard to cry others a river; her wrists burned each day and each night from the infliction of self-hate and fear; her poor feet were scattered with scars from walking on a trail of people's thorns; and her mouth were always chapped and bitten to keep her voice inwards.
She was innocent and weak against their lies and she was scared and unsure of who was really on her side.
She'd forget that she was playing with fire which mostly made her stomach be filled with regrets, her heart with heartless promises, countless mistakes, unspeakable hurt and bitter memories.
Reminiscing about the days she was intoxicated with her love, care, affection, friendship and trust; she wondered if those days were just illusions.
"She's dead." The old her and me has been put to rest. The old me was pathetic and fragile. Now, I refuse to run. I'll show you what I have become.
She hated it when others witness her meltdown. She hated how misery and chaos still reigned over her, yet made her realise there is no such thing as real love.
She bid farewell to tenderness, affection, trust, empathy, sympathy and love. She bid farewell to all those emotions which made her too soft.
My feet are full of scars because I ran on thorns for you. She didn't want to run anymore, instead she slowly let
all that was destroying her to manifest within her.
Her shadow lurked with an evil smile playing on its lips.
This is what you wanted, right? It asked. Me, the shadow...'your' shadow to guide you. I refuse to let you run, not now, not tomorrow and not ever.
Her breath hitched at the thought, "It feels wrong. It feels...evil." Fear began to crawl up her spine.
I always had your back, it hissed, 'we' always had your back.
She paused. It was right. She failed to acknowledge and appreciate how shadow, fear, pain, loneliness, sadness, anger and hate were always there for her. She apologised.
All her dark emotions began to sprout, encircling and embracing her with their touch of comfort.
Time, they all chanted, time will tell the consequences of cause and effect.
