Just Breathe

Chapter 22 {Just Pain}

Jonathan had been sitting at her bedside for nearly twenty-four hours. He couldn't leave; he couldn't even blink for fear of losing her. He held her hand tightly as he leaned on her bed and rested her head on her stomach. By holding her, he felt as if he was keeping her alive as if he was keeping her from leaving or fading away. 

He just needed to see her beautiful brown eyes, he needed her to open her eyes so he could look at her and tell her how deeply, completely and undeniably in love with her he was in every single way possible; from the color of her deep brown eyes right down to her pure and passionate heart.

"R-rob?" The sound of her sweet voice calling him by his other so-called nickname caused him to lift his head in joy and lean closer to her as her eyes slowly began to open.  

"Riley?"

She groaned and looked down at him with heavy eyelids. "W-what happened?"

"Riley...y-you overdosed."

The tears were building in her eyes as she threw her head back and stared up at the ceiling. 

"I went to the center and got your address. I found you on the bathroom floor." He explained briefly before pleading with her in desperation. "Riley, you have to stop this...please." He realized he was begging once again, but he felt as if that was all he had left.

Her eyes suddenly flooded in anger and she shot him a fierce glare in return. "Why did you help me?! Why didn't you just leave me to die! Don't you get it?! I. Want. To. Die! I don't want to be saved and I don't need your fucking help! Just leave me the hell alone!"

He shook his head and ignored her anger and bitterness, it was something he was used to, but she had no clue. "No, I'm not going anywhere. You can't push me away and you can't scare me. I care about you and I'm going to help you whether you want me to or not."

He wasn't sure what happened at that moment but suddenly something cracked inside her and she lost it all. Every hope and emotion drained from her body and she began squirming, pounding her fists against the hospital bed. "I don't want to be here! I hate you! I hate my life and everything...just everything." She screamed in pure agony which only caused him to cry harder due to his helplessness as he stood above her and pinned her arms down to the bed. 

She immediately began sobbing and whispered up at him softly. "I can't...feel...anything but...pain." 

He closed his eyes to try and stop the tears, but it did nothing. He wrapped his arms around her as she grabbed onto the back of his shirt and held onto him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder.