Just Breathe

Chapter 12 {Phone Call #6}

"What makes you say that?" 

"Just trying to put the pieces together."

"Well, you should stop playing detective cause you suck at that too." She said bitterly.

"No, I don't think I do. I think I pretty much have this one down to a tee. But what I don't understand is why you don't tell anyone. Why do you let her treat you that way? I know the alternative could lead to foster care, but I have trouble believing you're any younger than seventeen which means you will be eighteen soon enough. You could make it on your own...get an apartment...start over." 

"She's my mother."

"And she's a pretty shitty one if you ask me."

"Who the hell are you to judge?! You don't even know me! And don't think because we spend an hour talking on the phone every other day that you know a thing about me because you don't!"

"Only because you won't tell me anything! What do you expect me to do, Riley?! I'm trying to help you, but I barely know anything that's going on in your life!"

"It's better that way." Her tone was less defensive and he could tell she had gone from angry to depressed in the time it took for him to finish his sentence.

"Why's that?"

"Because if you knew my life you'd see that it's hopeless. I like talking to you and feeling the hope you have. You're different than anyone I've ever met and even though I know something must have happened for you to be stuck at that crisis center, you still manage to laugh and joke. I never did that until I met you. I haven't smiled since before the accident and I missed that part of my life. You helped me get it back...I don't want to lose it or watch it fade when I tell you about my life."

"Riley, it doesn't matter what you share with me or how much of your life you let me see...I'm still going to have hope for your life and I'm always going to believe that you will get past this. You are an amazing person and I find it saddening that someone as amazing as you can have so much pain in their life. And you're not the only one whose life has improved since these phone calls...it's not one sided. You are the only reason I push myself to come here every day...just to hear your voice." He couldn't help but wonder if he had gone too far with those last few words. They were true, there was no doubt about that, but the last thing he wanted to do was scare her away and it scared him everyday to know that one day...he may not get a call.

But his comment didn't scare her away and in no time at all she finally opened up to the stranger on the other end of the telephone line for the first time. She told him she had been cutting herself for the past two years since her father had died. She drank nearly every night to numb the pain of being abused by her mother who was still obviously grieving over the loss of her husband. She was taking her pain out on her daughter and it was sickening. It was tough losing someone you love, Jonathan knew that all too well but taking it out on the people who love you? There's no excuse for that.