Begin Again; Choi Yeonjun

Fourteen

Yeonjun's POV:

Haneul and I were sitting next to each other, waiting for her turn to see the therapist. I was scrolling down on my phone, but I could see her being anxious with just my pheripheral vision. She kept swinging her legs, looking around and even fidgeting her fingers. I blocked my phone and sighed, deciding it was time for me to help her to relax.

"Calm down, it's going to be okay" I said, gaining her attention. She turned her head to look at me, not really sure if she could trust my words.

"I'm nervous. I've never been in this kind of situation before" She confessed, looking down to her fingers again. I chuckled.

"You're just going to enter that room, answer some questions and the doctor will tell you what you need to do. It's not a big deal"

Haneul kept quiet for a few seconds, but then looked at me again.

"Do I really need to do this?"

I smiled.

"If you want to get better, yes" I shrugged.

"But I don--"

"Look, it's your turn. Time to go" I said, interrupting her and standing up. She looked at me confused, but I pushed her slightly to the now open door "I'll see you later"

"But--" 

I waved at her. She looked terrified, but when she saw the doctor standing behind her, she knew there was no turning back.

As soon as the door closed, I sighed and walked out of the clinic. She would be there for at least two hours, so I decided to go to the cafe across the street and grab something to drink. I pushed the door open and took a sit in front of a table at the back corner of the cafe. A waitress appeared right after, ready to take notes.

"A mocha iced coffee" I smiled. The waitress nodded and walked away.

I rested my arms over the table, lacing my fingers together. It was cold outside, but I didn't even care about the fact that I was about to drink an iced drink. There was a lot of stuff in my mind, Haneul's parents would arrive that night and I didn't even know how that would be, since I assumed they didn't know the whole thing, cause I just told them that she was in the hospital.

The waitress appeared with my drink and placed it in front of me.

"Thank you" I said, grabbing the glass and stirring the drink with the straw. The girl bowed and walked away.

I took a sip. The cold sensation on my throat and the sweet taste made me feel a lot better almost immediately. However, there was no way to push away my own worries.

I was conflicted. A few day had passed since Haneul attempted suicide, and since that day I wasn't able to be the same. That day was for sure hit me harder than I thought, and it also made me question some of the things I had been doing, feeling, and even thinking. I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore. I felt weird, different, and deep down I knew there were things I didn't want to face.

My only purpose was to be there whenever she needed me. Now that she had promised to try to get better and even apologized to me, I was going to give her the chance. It had been tough, but she was making the first step.

I finished my drink and paid for it. I looked at my watch and it was about time for Haneul to be out, so I went back to the clinic.

I took the elevator and found her when the doors opened. She was looking frantically around, probably looking for me. She looked scared, but I sensed her relief as soon as her eyes landed on me.