Chapter 12.

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Too much, my life was too complicated and filled with too much pain. The situation in Emilia's office was too much for me. The woman I had been longing for, searching for and crying about for sixteen years suddenly stood in front of me. The utter shock written across my father's pale features and my so called biological mother's voice and reflection struck me, hard. My head began spinning and a darkness overcame me. I recall falling to the marble floor but the rest is blurry. 

I slowly opened my eyes, carefully inspecting the room I laid in. There was a painting connected to the white wall, a child eagerly gripping a red balloon. The child had its back turned and the balloon was almost slipping from the child's weak grip. For a moment I saw the resemblance between myself and the child. I was holding on to my father even though he didn't want me to, on an emotional level. As I continued to take in my surroundings, my eyes landed on two individuals. I squinted my eyes and did my best to receive a better view of them, a woman and a man. They awfully much reminded me of my father and the woman I had seen in Emilia's office. 

"God Harry, she's awake!" I heard the woman exclaimed as she approached me, her heels clicking as she brought the chair closer to the bed. I saw my father exhale deeply, almost as if he was relieved. He gently took my hand and kissed it slowly. 

"You're awake Carly, thank God. I've been worried sick" he ranted as he let go of my hand and kissed the cross he had around his neck. I slowly turned around as my gaze analysed the woman sitting beside me. It must be my mother, Olivia. 

"Who are you?" I hoarsely spoke. Her eyes filled with tears as she went for my hand but I declined her offer. 

"I'm Olivia. Your mother" she quietly answered my question, almost as her heart broke by each word. 

"My biological mother" I stated as I turned my attention to my father who breathed heavily. His green orbs had turned into a darker shade, his facial expression was pained as he carefully listened to our conversation. "Is it true?" I added as my eyes met his. He heavily sighed as he pulled his fingers through his brown curls. 

"Yes Carly, it's true" he dryly responded. Once again I turned my attention to her, silent tears fell down her rosey cheeks. 

"Why did you leave him?" I harshly asked her as the streaming of her tears increased. My father seemed to be caught off guard by my question as he had to take a seat to avoid himself from passing out. My question was met by silence and tears, but I wasn't having it. This could possibly be my only chance to find out the truth about my past, their past. Once in a life time. "Answer me" I demanded as she tried to collect herself. 

"I made a terrible mistake Carly." she began, she gave my father a sad look as she slowly continued "the two of us were truly, madly and deeply in love. We spent every second together. He was unique and different. His soul was beautiful Carly. He would bring me flowers every Sunday, Daisy flowers. He would explain that the daisy stands for loyal love and that I could always count on him." Tears were welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill any second. I carefully glanced at my father who was listening to the words that left my mother's mouth. 

"Continue" I encouraged as she took a deep breath. 

"We had both finished law school when I got pregnant. I wasn't too young for a child but I was more interested in a career than a child. However, I wasn't ready to go through an abortion and Harry didn't want to go through adoption so we decided to keep you. Meanwhile I began working for a successful firm and that's where I met the biggest mistake of my life - Oscar. I fell for his charm, the way he spoke, the way he moved and the way he would listen to me. Harry was very busy, even back then. I sometimes felt forgotten and taken for granted. By the time I gave birth to you I was already swept off my feet, Oscar had promised me a life, a life I could only dream of having. Manipulated and selfish as I was I decided to leave Harry, end our love. The love of my life and leave you with him. I trusted Harry, I knew he would take good care of you and I left that chapter behind me." she explained. I felt pain, my heart was about to explode when I met my father's orbs. He did his best to hide the emotions but when I saw how he rested his face in his hands, my heart shattered in pieces. 

"Then what?" I curiously asked, I wanted more and knowing this could be my only chance I couldn't contain myself. 

"Karma caught up with me. I ended up in a nightmare instead of what was promised. Oscar was toxic, possessive and an alcoholic. He would drink copious amounts of alcohol and at the end of the night take out his anger on me. He would beat me, kick me and mentally hurt me. I was stuck in the relationship and I couldn't leave, he would even lock me in the house. Finally, a few years ago I was able to free myself from the bastard. I have been looking for the two of you but shame got the best of me. I don't know what you've heard about me Carly and I completely understand if you want me to get lost, but trust me if I could turn back time I would have chosen the two of you all over." I was sobbing, if I thought my heart couldn't break any further I was wrong. Her experience pained me and I truly understood the shame she was dealing with. 

"I haven't heard anything about you. I've spent years and years trying to understand myself. I wasn't even aware of your name. He never mentioned you" I painfully choked out. I could see how my father was shaking his head. The pained look on her face was too much to witness, I began sobbing. She carefully grabbed my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. 

"You fucked me up Olivia" I heard my father's voice for the first time, in a very long time. He stood up from the chair, paced back and forth until he finally continued "you crushed me, broke me into a million pieces. At the same time I had to put myself aside to focus on the spitting image of you. Carly has always reminded me of you and of all our happy times, of my only true love. I thought breathing without you was impossible until you left me, instead of breathing for one I had to stay put and breath for the two of us. She grew up with an emotionally absent father, we created a masterpiece who we let down, both of us. You're to blame for leaving her, us. But I'm to blame for staying in the past. I've imagined us raising her together, countless of times. We were a team Olivia. You and me Olivia. I lived for you, I breathed for you and the old Harry died with you" he spoke. Suddenly he undid the buttons to his shirt, confusion was written across my face. He approached my mother and pointed to a beautifully written text tattooed to his underarm, a tattoo I had never laid my eyes on. 

"When you go and I'm alone, you live in my imagination. The summertime and butterflies. All belong to your creation, I love you Olivia."

The tears leaving her eyes soaked his arm, the time had stopped. My breath hitched as he embraced her petite figure. I could die happy. 





A/N: Oh my god, long time no see! Out of nowhere I felt the urge to update this lovely book. My emotions are all over the place. Please tell me what your experience while reading this. Lots of love!!

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 13, 2019 ⏰

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