sehnsucht ✓

chapter 14

School finally resumes as normal when I return to school, remaining peaceful for the next week or so, excluding when my mom left for Thailand on Friday.

Her flight was in the evening after school, and we shared a long, emotional goodbye, though I'll spare the details. However, in hindsight, explaining it would've drawn an obvious outcome, one similar to the moment I convened with my mom the day she initially broke news to me she was moving.

Dressed clad in a lazy outfit, consisting of off day essentials, I had an over sized hoodie on, the first I had ever stolen from Mark. Hence, it was in his size.

This included catching a strong whiff of his scent, and I beg for that not to be taken the wrong way.

His faint, flowery smell made me feel safe.

"I'll see you later, girl," Ingrid gives me a half hug from the side, as I was seated down in my seat at the front of the classroom, first period chemistry.

She makes her eventual exit, walking briskly to make it to her next class, located on the other corner of the school.

I'm not sure why she was in such a rush though, given there were still 10 minutes left until the start of school. Plenty of time to calmly make it to class.

I receive a text from Mark, who I believed was worried about my emotional well-being again, and probably wanted to check up to make sure I wasn't planning on ditching.

It was only partially off the truth, since the thought had crossed my mind, but I chose to suck it up. I didn't want my whole life falling off every detail that changed, despite taking it hard.

Any moment I felt like I would crack if another thing was added on, when I felt frustrated as is.

Mark: you're going to school today, right?

Me: of course. did you think i was going to skip again?

Me: i'm not under immunity from my mom forever, and i'm pretty sure my dad's going to start getting pretty upset since my grades already aren't the best

Mark: haha

Mark: what's your period first class? i'll come say hi to u

Me: chemistry in 431.

I don't get a reply back from Mark after that, only able to assume that he saw it and was on his way.

I turn behind me and catch sight of Grant, who for a split second, I forgot was in this class; it's been months since my brief, two week crush on him faded, and these past few weeks, I've been too preoccupied to turn from my seat at the very front of the class, right next to the door.

I was quiet in this class. After all, I didn't have any friends that I regularly talked to here, which I was okay with. It was a first period class, so I was already tired to begin with.

Fortunately, not having friends in Chemistry strengthened my focus and effort during class.

The one good thing that comes out of it.

Grant and I meet each other with awkward eye contact, that I immediately break. Turned to the side facing away from the door and to the back, I feel a presence linger over me from behind, a hand I sensed and quickly felt familiarized with.

I turn forward to the front, still not faced directly to Mark, placing a hand on my periodic table sheet, which was laid out neatly, along with the rest of my things in front of me.

I feel his grasp remain on my shoulder, inducing relaxing sensation. I suddenly felt soothed of my stress.

His love and attention was a drug, and in a way, I wanted to work on that. It was almost unhealthy, on how I found myself relying on Mark to make me feel better every time.