the light

my prayer to the sun come true

you took my sadness,
as a reason to leave -
saying that,
my overwhelming self loathing meant
i would never get through a day,
and truly love you,
the way you claimed to have loved me -
with your hush hushed kisses,
and goodbye wishes,
for me to love myself again,
like i seemed to,
yesterday.

you took my sadness
as a way to push and shove me -
until i was no longer pliable
and within your reach.
because once i held my form,
without your molding fingertips,
your hands went rigid,
and my arms turned blue.

you took my sadness,
as the remnants of a happy girl -
rather than ashes,
waiting to be reborn.

you looked at me like i was lost
and never to be found again.
as if i couldn't work on a better me,
one that could look in the mirror
and say 'i love you' back,
and still take care to love you as well.

you took my sadness,
as a reason to leave -
and i took you leaving,
as my prayer to the sun,
come true.