Bucky Barnes oneshots/imagines

The Cost of Normalcy

Summary: Request - HI ! Would you mind doing an angsty oneshot where you lie about being sick to Boyfriend!Bucky when in reality you're actually hanging with other non-superhero friends, one of them being an ex? He finds out when he and your Avengers friends spots you outside ? 😣

Warnings: Tiny amount of fluff, angst

Bucky walks over to your shared bed and sits on the edge as he strokes the hair out of your face, "are you sure you don't want me to stay? Literally everyone is going on this mission, they won't miss me if I don't go".

You give him a soft smile before turning it into a stern look, "James Buchanan Barnes, don't you dare stay just because I have a headache. I'll be fine, I just need some rest in a dark and quiet room".

Bucky nods but he still doesn't stop stroking your hair, "I just worry, Doll. You don't get sick often and lately you've had a few headaches".

Guilt squeezes your chest, but you force another smile to your face and hope he thinks it's a struggle because of your 'headache', "I know, Buck, but I'm okay. Now go, before you miss the jet".

Bucky leans down to kiss your forehead as he whispers, "you know me too well". He gets up to leave.

Just before he turns the lights off you say, "I love you, Bucky. Be safe".

His smile makes the guilt sit heavy in your stomach, "I love you too, Doll, and I always am". The lights go out and you listen to his boots fading down the hall.

You don't move until you hear the jet leave and even then, you wait a few extra seconds. Sometimes you wonder why you don't tell anyone about your non-superhero friends, but you feel weird about it. Everyone else doesn't hang out with anyone except people on the team.

And you knew why you were lying to Bucky. One of your exes was in that particular circle of friends and you didn't think he would understand that it was years ago and that you were just friends now, that you didn't think of him in that way.

As you pull up your jeans you say to yourself that this is the last time anyway. You were only meeting with them as this was the last time we would all be together for a while. Everyone lives all over and it'll be time to go back home for most of them. It's just a goodbye. No one has to know, and it won't happen again.

But as you stare in the mirror you know this may not have been the best way to go about things. It was too late now though, you just had to go through with this plan and swallow the guilt.

A few hours later

You and your friends exit the restaurant laughing and giggling. You had a great time with them and were sad to say goodbye to them for a while.

Tara gives you a tight hug, "don't be a stranger. I know you're all busy saving the world, but we miss you".

You squeeze her back, "I know, I'll try to keep in touch more".

Then it was Sarah's turn, then Jack, then Jen, and finally Lucas. Lucas pulls you into a hug that was familiar but lacked any spark, "you know, I thought that was going to be awkward, but that was more natural than when we went out".

You laugh and pull back, "yeah, it was fun".

He gives you a kiss on the cheek before fully pulling away, "Tara is right, don't be a stranger. If you ever need anything, just hit me up".

You nod to him with a grateful smile as you wave them all away, your journey back to the compound in the opposite direction.

You have that glowing feeling you get after a good night seeing friends, but it fades the moment you turn around. Bucky standing there.

His face is a picture of confusion and hurt and it twists at your stomach painfully. You're vaguely aware that the team stand a few yards away, but you can't take your eyes from Bucky.

The question must be written on your face because Bucky answers through clenched teeth, "the mission went without a hitch, we came out to celebrate and I was feeling guilty about it until I saw you with your friends".

You have to swallow a few times before you manage to speak, "Bucky, let me explain-".

Bucky barks out a bitter laugh, "explain? What is there to explain Y/N? You lied about being ill so that you could not only hang out with better friends, but your fucking ex?".

You didn't know what to say to that so Bucky fills the silence again, "didn't think I would notice that Lucas was in that group? And save yourself any embarrassment before you lie, I saw him give you a kiss and ask you to hit him up".

You shake your head, "you're taking it out of context-".

Bucky interrupts again, "do you think it looks any better with more context?! You lied to me and then I catch you with your ex!".

Anger starts to flow through your veins at not having the chance to explain, "that's not how it was, and you know it!".

"Do I?! Do I know it? I thought I knew you, but here I am with 'mug' plastered on my forehead because I was obviously fucking wrong", he's shouting now but you can see the hurt hidden behind it.

You sigh, "I know I shouldn't have lied. But I felt guilty for going out with different friends, non-superhero friends. Plus, I remember the speech most of you gave about giving them up because it would be too dangerous. But I miss them. You've all been doing this for years and me? I'm new to this life and sometimes I miss just...being normal".

You see sympathy flash across his features, but it's gone after a few seconds, hurt taking its place, "it's not that you went out with friends. Hell, I wouldn't have cared if you told me you were going for coffee with Lucas. It's the fact that you lied, Y/N. It's the fact that you didn't trust me enough to tell me any of that".

The lump in your throat was getting more and more difficult to swallow around as you watch Bucky turn away from you. You step forward as you say, "Bucky, please can we talk this through?".

He doesn't turn to look at you, "I can't. It hurts to even look at you right now".

His words cut your heart in two. It tears at theseams to create jagged lines of pain that ache in your hollow chest and all youcan do is watch everyone walk away from you as you stand alone in the middle ofNew York. Stuck somewhere between your old life and your new one.