Find me

Read between the lines

A: ''Can, are you sure? Stay if you want.''

C: ''no dad, it's a bit crowded for me now...''

A: ''it was nice to see you there.'' Aziz smiled while buckling his seatbelt. They arrived home and Can offered a drink to his father. They sat outside, Can stretched his legs and looked ahead of him in the darkness of the night.

A: ''Can... how are you feeling? Talk to me.''

He took his time, choosing his words, ''I feel like I am getting used to this life...'' he stopped.

A: ''you feel guilty?''

C: ''I just... I don't want this life... I want Sanem, I want my life with her.'' Tears formed in his eyes.

A: ''Can, your heart wants what it wants, I've told you that before and you can't stop it, but you have to let yourself feel the present time as well. If something makes you feel good, enjoy it, don't feel guilty about it, you are not obliged to suffer every second of the rest of your life...'' Aziz let out a sob and Can turned toward him, surprised by his father's sudden sorrow.

C: ''I don't suffer any more dad... I don't feel any more.''

Aziz got up and sat in the chair next to Can, resting his hand on his knee. ''that love you felt for Sanem... you can still live with it, remember it, sense it... one day you will love again, in a different way... but you will love again and Sanem will still be in your heart.'' They cried and hugged, ending the conversation on a hopeful note.

Can entered Ajda's office a couple of days later; it was buzzing with people working, talking and typing.

A: ''Can!'' she welcomed him with a hug and directed him to her office. ''nice to see you.''

C: ''nice to see you too.''

Ajda ordered 2 teas from her assistant.

C: ''you know me very well...'' they smiled at each other.

A: ''sit down please, I want to show you a few things I've been doing...'' they talked for an hour, sharing ideas and comments on her current projects. Can realised he was still in the game and still inspired by most topics. He started mindlessly looking through the piles of books she had on her desk, while still chatting. He suddenly noticed a small book with an albatross on the cover, he picked it up and flipped through. It was entitled ''Albatross'' written by Ayse Banu; he couldn't help but be intrigued.

C: ''what is this?'' he asked.

Ajda looked across her desk and lifted her shoulder, unsure about the book: ''something recently published, 2 or 3 months ago, I think. I don't know much about it, haven't read it yet but it was recommended by a girl in the copywriting team.''

C: ''can I take it?''

A: ''sure...'' she didn't seem to care much about it.

Can left Ajda's office and slowly walked back to his car, staring at the book. He sat in the driver's seat and threw it on the passenger side, the sight of this bird was too much and he pushed his palms on his eyes, trying to regroup himself. It was just a book, he thought.

He drove home and changed into his running gears, jogging for over an hour under the thin rain that covered the city that day. He was pressing his hands against his truck to stretch his legs and shoulders when he noticed the book again and opened the car to pick it up. He showered and sat on his bed to read. He first flipped through the front and back pages; there were no details regarding the author except a name and location: Mersin, Turkey. He read a few pages, the style was light but passionate, humorous and metaphoric. It tickled his curiosity, he bit his lips and kept reading. The story was about a brother and sister trying to save the family farm from greedy developers. It was a simple story but filled with smart twists and turns and he couldn't stop reading. He put the book down after reading the last page, his brain going a million miles an hour. He picked it up again and looked for a few specific pages, re-reading some passages.