Blue

Time Differences

I feel like I'm always preoccupied
And I hate it
Because I won't look at my phone for hours
And then see that you called me 4 hours ago

And I'll call back, not expecting an answer
I simply wanted to leave you a message
Something to wake up to

After all, you told me goodnight
It'd only be fair if I told you good morning
Even if it is 12 AM

But you answered and there was noise
I said hello
The call ended

I didn't want to call again, it had seemed that I woke you up
So I apologize for interrupting your sleep

I had heard the way your voice shook
And how you were trying to sound as normal as you could
I appreciate your efforts

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get back to you sooner
Or else I would have
And instead of writing this, I would say it

So I might wake up and wish you a good morning
Or I might just wait to hug you and say it

I don't mean to sound like you're not a priority
Because you are
But it seems nowadays I'm struggling to put myself first

I see you're trying
Thank you
I'll try to be here the best I can

But this is not a one time deal
This is how friends communicate
So I'm hoping that if I don't to hear your voice or see you
I can at least read your text
Or hear a message of yours on my phone

I'm sorry our paths don't cross as often as expected and that our times don't always match up
But don't let it discourage you
I'll always call you back if I don't answer it
Maybe even leave a message

I miss you
And your arms are warmer than before
I may not feel as loved, not by you at least

But the little details of my home are trickling back in
Your chuckles
Overdramatic actions
Violent outbursts (which are hilarious)
Your warm hugs

Slowly I'm seeing familiarity
And my heart is tired of being cold and alone
It already has a reason to beat, it just wants to be where it feels protected
Safe
Warm
Happy

Because even before those feelings if mine were real, you were still the highlight of my day
And I still loved to cuddle with you
I've always loved you
Just in different ways

I'm starting to feel my platonic feelings overpowering the romantic
I'm slowly moving on

Even if you left my heart in pieces
It's beginning to find it's way back together.

Maybe we'll never be what we were before
Maybe we'll never be normal
We'll simply be us
Tamone and Pumbaa