YOLOista Tada: The Kabolangan Stories of a Boring Life (Complete)

Someone's Stranger

Author's Note: If albums have their deluxe or bonus track version, I think this entry serves as a bonus feature since hindi ko na siya maiilalagay pa sa mga susunod kong sulatin in the mere future.

September 19, 2019
3:17 AM

Let's start with how that person changed my perspectives and thoughts about life. He taught me of something which I cannot or merely show to everyone 'cause I feel like he's the only one who captured my heart. Hell, yeah. Walking home after school makes me tired whole day, but when I used to remember all of the hours staring at his passionate eyes and captivating smiles, I'll gonna act like I'm the happiest kiddo in the world as I about to whisper his name.

It is my first time to walk with him when I was in Grade 4, and we talked about nothing but the pair of shoes as if I am wearing an old, black boots with holes in it. I wouldn't mind if he will laugh 'cause it doesn't make any sense but I would rather make myself pissed-off during that day instead of letting him talk with the other girls in the room or be with his influential, ill-mannered friends of 3. Longing for him to call my name with not-so-good voice and rough messages, I badly want him even more; as much as I could, better than the days passed by. Everything seems to be a chapter of our lives with our bond even though we're not actually friends or something or more than that—it's just he's my typical classmate and I'm the one who wants his attention 'cause I'm thirsty for it.

I always make tattoos on his elbows and hands, and my sweat kisses his dark yet smooth skin. I always touch my right shoulder to him when I used to write during Filipino period and we're on the same desks together. My craziness hit me during the scorching afternoon heat of June.

I secretly watches him playing badminton or while eating snacks during our breaktime. Not until we finished our elementary years and I thought that this would be the ending of our story. He transferred to another school, and I'm worried that he might look for his new friend—or I should say, lover.

The connection between us broke down, I thought during that night that he changed his phone number that's why I cannot talk to him. I'm afraid to ask my former classmates of what he's doing every single day, for I am worried of what will they say if I would do it so.

Short conversations and late night talks were gone, but I would probably be sadder for not making different or any ways to see him again.

He came back to our school after a boring year. Then, we became classmates when we're in Grade 9. He actually changed a lot, his personality sucks when he yells back at me or he's making puns out of his stupid mindset and badass gestures that make me sick, but I cannot afford to walk a distance between our hearts—'cause I feel like he's not my crush anymore—that's more than that. Maybe I'm falling in love? I don't think so...

He only knew that he's my crush after we played the game called 'concentration' then one of my classmates jumbled for truth-or-dare challenge until she picked me up 'cause the fate of spin-the-bottle perfectly pointed at me. I chose "truth" 'cause I'm always honest with them and there's nothing wrong if I will answer her question right away. I chilled when she asked me if who's my crush. That question never came in my mind! I thought I would just say some stuffs about my personal life, but not this one. I breathed for a second and then my finger accidentally pointed him—yes, I never hesitated to face everyone as I show to them that he is my ultimate crush and no one cannot deny it, not even my closest friends 'cause they already knew that I have something special, magical or whatever that I used to feel everytime I'm staring at him. His eyes sparkle not until he heard me calling his name, and he can't say anything.

I think that's the time that I have to confess since we will graduate in Junior High School and I believe that he will leave us very soon.

Well, that's not the deal. He chose to stay here for Senior High.

And I thought that he will not recognize and talk to me anymore 'cause he already knew that I have this crazy feeling over him, but it's not—he's trying to mess-up with my weird moves while we're on our same groupings during English time and he's one of the amazing members.

He watches me while reporting, dancing individually on stage, performing "Mine" by Taylor Swift on P.E. time and writing notes on Filipino after lunch.

He waved for good luck when I joined poster-making contest in school, I failed him once but I became the first placer for the second try.

He makes me smile when my cheeks touch the table or when he knew that I'm looking after him secretly and he caught me for doing such bitchy thing.

We danced together. We sang songs together. I'm calling his name in our recitation when I'm the reporter, the same thing that he does when he talks in front and I'm listening to him.

I loved him for being a good student. And I loved him for, 'cause I cannot think of exact words that I can describe for me to introduce his name to all of you.

Not until he introduced her girlfriend in front of his friends and then someone told me that he's on relationship.

I just smiled but deep inside, I feel like I'm melting like a butter in a pre-heated pan. I regret of being stucked with him for the first time when I met him during our Grade 2 days and for loving him until we're in Grade 11. I spent my 9 whole years thinking of how the world seems so colorful because he's there for me to change the meaning of love that I cannot give to anyone except him.

I kept all of my memories, my diaries and absurd yet funny stories that enriched my soul and fed my mind 'til now. On his 13th year of being a student, I still face the world with pride, with shining colors of rainbow, but, I know that my empty space will never, ever be filled with his songs, dance playlist or even his perfume—not at all.

I adore him for being the happiest clown of all, for letting me stay on my feet while waiting for his response if he will help me to stand or not—I learned it by myself. I learned to walk away 'cause chasing after him with another girl raptures every vein in my body. I'm giving up for good.

I maybe look like a freak, but once in my teenage life, I became someone's perfect stranger. My heart still lasted for longer until it decided to play-dead 'til now.

Goodbye, classmate. Have a nice day.

• • •

THE END