Crush // Bang Chan ff

6 - cry with you

"Chan! Wait!" she yelled as he turned the corner on their street. She almost caught up to him before he shut the door behind him, locking. She sighed and waited there for 2 minutes before pulling her keys out and walking into the house. His parents were still at work so she decided to give him some strawberries and peaches, his favourite fruits. She put her bag on the sofa and went into the kitchen and looked in the fridge. She took out the fruit and washed it before cutting it up and putting them onto a tray along with 2 forks and 2 boxes of pineapple juice. She took the tray upstairs and knocked on his door.

No answer.

She knocked again before putting her ear to the door. She heard him sniffling and a few hiccups.

'Chan's crying... why is he so nice even to that bitch? He probably hates her but he still cared about her... Why does he have to be so nice?"  she thought to herself before knocking lightly on his door for the third time. "Chan-ah, can I come in?" she asked softly and after a few seconds she heard a few sniffles and a hiccup before he choked out a yes. She opened the door slowly and shut it behind her, setting the tray down on his bedside table. She turned around and walked to the other side of the bed, where he was curled up under his sheets. She noticed that he still had his shoes on and sighed, "Chan, don't be sad, at least you got it over and done with. Plus, she wasn't much of a loss."

"Hyun Jae, I want to be alone right now..." he sniffled but she knew he didn't want to; he only ever called her Hyun Jae when he was lying.

"Give me your feet." she told him and he put his feet on her lap. She pulled his shoes and socks off before tucking his feet back under the duvet. "Chan-ah, sit up." she said gently but he just buried his face into his pillow even further and pulled the duvet cover over his head.

"Hyun Jae, please just leave me alone." he mumbled, hoping that she wouldn't hear; he needed her right now. She sighed and rubbed his back.

"Please, Chan, I want to help you. I don't like seeing anyone like this, especially not you." she said and hugged him. She sat up straight after a few minutes and Chan sat up. He uncovered his face and her eyes softened at the sight of his face; his eyes were red and watery, tears stained his pale cheeks and his nose was running from crying. He looked away, embarrassed. He hated people seeing him weak like this; only Hyun Jae and Felix have seen him like this and that was when they were 8. Hyun Jae stood up and got a tissue, passing it to him. He blew his nose and sniffled a little, a few more tears leaving his eyes. She pouted sadly and sat beside him, hugging him as he rested his chin on her shoulder, rubbing his back as he cried.

"I-I thought she really had the heart to begin liking me back but I lost feelings and felt bad so I stayed in the relationship." he sobbed, letting his frustration out, "She cheated on me with that dickhead out of all people... what a bitch!" he shouted and cried harder. It hurt Hyun Jae so much to see him crying over someone who didn't care for him  the way he did. She pulled out of the hug and cupped his face, wiping away his tears.

"Chan-ah, stop crying over her! She's not worth any of your tears! You deserve someone so much better, someone who cares about you, someone who understands you, someone who doesn't take advantage of you, someone who- a girl that loves you with all her heart." She yelled at him sadly before a tear fell from her cheek before she burst out crying. He pulled her into a hug, both of them sobbing loudly. "I swear to God if you ever date anyone that I don't like then I'll slap her and you even harder. Why do this to yourself? Why did you let her use you?"

"Jae, I-I don't know..." he sobbed, feeling upset that he had made her cry with him.

"You being happy with a girl that I know isn't good for you breaks my heart, Chan-ah. What shatters my heart is when you pretend to be happy when you're not. I love you so much and I can't bare seeing you loving someone who doesn't love you back." she cried, "It hurts me so much to the point where sometimes I feel like slapping the smile off of her face. I love you so much, you're my best friend in the who-"

Chan pulled out of the hug and smashed his lips on hers, cupping her face but Hyun Jae sat still, shocked. He pulled away and his eyes widened. She sat there, tears running down her cheeks.

"I-I'm so sorry, Jae." he whispered, touching his lips.

"Why d-did you kiss me?" she managed to choke out. She wanted to be happy but it felt wrong and somewhat fake.

"I-I don't know..."

"So why did you kiss me then?" she asked raising her voice a little, tears streaming down her face.

"Jae, I don't kno-"

"Don't play with me Chan!" she yelled.

"What are you talking about, Jae?" he asked, holding her hands in his.

"I like you. I like you, Chan. I like Christopher Bang. How could you not tell? Are you really that blind? I love you so much more than a best friend, I only want what's best for you and you make way too angry than I should be when you do things that upset you. How can you not see that I love you?" she yelled and got up to leave the room. 

"Jae, wait-"

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Chan." she sighed and shut the door behind her. Chan punched the wall.

"I fucked up." he sighed. "I fucked up so bad."