crumble | h.s

party fifty five: 48 hours

Hand in hand, we walk into the store and down the aisles. People were here doing their own shopping as they were scattered all over the aisles.

For once, I wasn't worried about being out in public. This isn't a big store and if by some chance the Phantoms were here, they wouldn't be able to try anything without being caught.

We walk into the pharmacy aisle and Harry retrieves the light purple coloured box. He holds it in his large hand and looks at the label.

"Emergency contraceptive." he mumbles. "Perfect."

I felt like everyone was staring at us and judging us for buying this, even though deep down I knew no one actually cared.

"Let's get outta here." I say, gripping his hand.

He walks us to the cashier. I avoid eye contact with the uniformed old man as he scanned the box because this was awkward enough.

Harry retrieves the now bagged item from the man and takes my hand in his again. We walk out to the car and I take a deep breath.

"He was definitely judging us." I bite my lip.

Harry starts the car and reverses out. "Probably, but who cares." he shrugs.

I open the white plastic bag up and grab the box. I examine it in my hand. There was one single pill in this box.

I didn't feel pregnant, but it hasn't even been a day so that was obvious. I wanted to get home quickly however to take this pill as soon as possible.

I shake my head. "I can't believe we forgot a condom."

"It was just in the heat of the moment." Harry says.

"It was stupid."

"I know."

"Do you want kids?" I blurt without thinking.

I slap my hand over my mouth and widen my eyes at my own words.

Harry's eyes widen as well, and he keeps his gaze in front of him. "Uhm." he chokes on his words. "No."

Oh.

"Like...ever?" I add on and silently curse myself for not being able to keep my mouth shut.

"Like ever." he repeats my question, but in the form of an answer.

Oh.

"Oh." I say.

"Mhm." he presses his lips together and awkwardly taps his fingers on the steering wheel as he drives.

I don't know why him not wanting kids bothered me.

But it did.

A lot.

I've always seen myself having kids. Not now, obviously, but in the future.

I wanted a girl.

"You okay?" Harry speaks from next to me.