Joe's Bar and Grill

Tale 7 A Ghost's Story Part 2 A Rare Medium Well Done

I found Madam Miro in the online yellow pages. She was one of the few psychic/medium/palm readers who actually provided a physical address. I'm not sure how anyone would read a palm over the internet. I guess you scan your hand and e-mail it? High tech mystics, what a wonderful age we live in.

I went to her place. It was just what you'd expect. It was a small run-down shop; the windows were covered over by posters advertising "Palms Read" and "Psychic Readings." The inside was decorated in mystic gypsy décor, bead chains hung in the doorway, the room smelled of incense, was dimly lit and cluttered with tapestries and odd artifacts. In the center of the room was a round table with a crystal ball behind which sat your stereotypical gypsy, who I presumed was Madam Miro. She was, in fact, younger than your stereotypical gypsy, but she was certainly dressed for the part. Her head was covered with a babushka scarf. She wore long loose-fitting boho-chic attire. She beckoned me with a sweeping hand gesture to have a seat at the table.

I introduced myself and explained to her that I wanted to hire her to perform a séance at the bar to contact the deceased prior owner who was currently haunting the place. At first, she feigned reluctance explaining she rarely made "house calls" because it took extra effort for her to acclimate to new surroundings. She made it clear, however, the extra effort could be managed with extra money. When I explained to her my real plan, she was a little disappointed I was not actually a believer. Still, she was more than willing to go along with it given the compensation I was offering for her extra effort. We put our heads together and came up with a script for her performance that should accomplish my objectives.

With the Madam lined up, I went back to the bar, awaited her arrival and then made my announcement.

"Everyone, may I have your attention? As you may know, as of late, our bar has been hosting a supernatural visitor. And although we all believe he probably has every right to be here, he has been causing some troublesome feelings of unease and some annoying relocations of small items hereabouts. To address these issues, I have hired a medium to conduct a séance to find out exactly what our visitor wants and hopefully help him on his way to the next world.

"Therefore, tonight's entertainment in the living room will be a séance conducted by the highly acclaimed psychic and medium extraordinaire, Madam Miro." I gestured to where she was sitting.

Madam Miro stood to somewhat uncertain applause and spoke, "Anyone interested can follow me into the other room and we will begin the séance shortly."

Most of the bar's occupants grabbed their drinks and followed her. Like I said, we had attracted a lot of enthusiasts of the supernatural lately and this form of entertainment suited them perfectly.

Madam Miro mounted the stage and turned to face the audience which was standing room only now that everyone from the bar had followed her in. She closed her eyes and spoke authoritatively saying, "I need complete silence so the spirit will know we are seeking his attention."

I dimmed the lights. The room began to quieten when Freddy spoke up, "Shouldn't we all hold hands or something?"

Red responded, "Freddy is just saying that because he is standing next to Destiny." Everyone laughed and Destiny blushed. Madam Miro ignored the interruption and waited for the silence to return.

Finally, she spoke, "I can definitely feel a strong presence." She pressed her finger tips to her forehead concentrating. "The spirit is being drawn here by some unfinished business." She shook her head as if clearing away a fog. She continued, "It is unclear what it is but it may have something to do with a family member. Does the name Joe have any significance?" The crowd broke into laughter at her attempt to make it sound like Joe was not the most obvious name possible in this bar. She smiled and attempted to recover, "Obviously this is Joe's bar, but does anyone know if Joe had any family or close relations? Is it possible any of them are here tonight?" Jolene and several others looked right at me.

Red answered, "Joe Bob didn't have any family except a worthless brother who died several years ago." I think Red thought he would make the medium's job more difficult by denying any possible family connection that the spirit Joe could be reaching out to. Red could be a pain that way, but in fact, he was playing right into my hand.

"That brother did have a child though," Jolene added. She was looking straight at me. I think she realized what she was giving a way, but she felt compelled to help the medium in case she really was in contact with Joe. Jolene is sort of a believer. As she puts it, not really superstitious, just a little "stitious."

I gave Madam Miro a subtle nod to let her know I had gotten what I wanted and she began her final pronouncements. "The spirit is speaking to me now." She suddenly froze in place and stared motionless at the ceiling. After a few moments she seemed to relax and spoke again to the audience, "The spirit has let me know he has finished his business. The message he came here to deliver has been relayed. He also told me that now that he is here, he enjoys hanging around in this manifestation and would like to continue to drop in from time to time. He apologizes for any discomfort his ghostly presence may have caused and he will do his best to mitigate that in the future."

At that, I went up to where the infrasound transmitter was plugged in and looking straight at Red, I pulled the plug and announced to the room, "I think that means an end to the creepy feelings we have all been having."

Whispers of amazement spread through the crowd as everyone admitted that suddenly their feelings of unease had dissipated. Madam Miro spoke again, "To apologize for all the discomfort you've been feeling, Joe Bob has offered to answer any questions anyone may have of the spirit world." With that the audience began posing questions which Miro answered in her cleverly obfuscating fashion.

Madam Miro who I now know as Miriam or Miri went off script when she added the bit about the ghost wanting to hang around. I think she was creating an opportunity for a repeat performance. Honestly, I liked the idea. The whole haunting thing really had been good for business. I talked it over with Jolene and she was good with the idea of Miri making regular appearances if she would consider being part of the waitstaff during the day.

Miri liked the idea of a steady job and in fact had experience waiting tables. She now holds very entertaining group seances here every Wednesday night and brings in quite a crowd letting random audience members ask questions of their dearly departed which Miri relays through the original Joe, Joe Bob. During the day, she waits tables and provides the occasional complimentary palm reading.

And that is how Joe's bar became known as the haunted bar. Thanks to a red rascal, a rare medium and a job well done.

If you are now certain you know the relationship between myself and Joe Bob, it is no surprise. At this point so was I.

However, it is too early to say, "Bob's your uncle." For those not familiar with the British phrase "Bob's your uncle," it is similar to the American "there you have it" or "easy as pie." But Bob was not my uncle yet and there was nothing straight forward about any of this.