hurt, ( byler )

1.0

july 6, 1985
"will, please answer, man," mike's voice was crackling non-stop through will's supercom. yesterday mike had been trying to get will to answer from six pm until about one in the morning when will answered, only to tell mike to shut up. now it was ten am—mike had been trying again since eight am. god, he was fucking persistent. "will," mike said again. "i know you're listening."

will ignored him and continued drawing. drawing the upside down. he figured it was fitting to draw something dark. in the upside down he felt lost, scared, confused, depressed. right now he felt scared, confused, unwanted, depressed. it was definitely fitting.

"will, please," mike was saying. finally, will reached for his supercom.

"shut up, mike!" will snapped, putting his supercom back on his beside table and continuing to draw.

"will! will! will!" mike pestered annoyingly. will wished he could just turn the damn thing off, but he wasn't allowed to. his mom's stupid rule. 'it has to stay on all the time incase you or someone else gets into trouble!' "willllll."

"god, go do something with your life," will muttered to himself, rolling his eyes. "go call out other people for being gay."

then, for what felt like the first time in years, his room went silent. no more mike annoying him through the supercom. the only noise was the sound of his crayons against paper as he kept drawing.

of course, will didn't think anything of it until he heard knocking on his door ten minutes later. will held his face in his hands and groaned. of course mike didn't just shut up.

annoyed, will got up off of his bed and marched to the front door, ready to yell at mike if he had to. he was mad and sad and he hated mike. mike was homophobic. will hated mike.

will unlocked and opened the front door, revealing the one and only.

"what are you doing here?" will asked coldly, glaring at the tall boy standing before him.

"i came to apologise. and hang out," mike answered. there was nothing on mike's face but guilt.

"i don't want to hang out. i don't want an apology," will said, standing stiffly.

"i'm sorry," mike apologised regardless. "i'm really fucking sorry."

"i..." will trailed off, then tried again. "i hate you."

now pain and sadness was mixed with the guilty expression on mike's face. "you hate me," he stated. "so that's that? eleven years of friendship down the drain. just like that?"

"i don't want to be friends with someone who's going to bully me," will said, staring at mike's face. he was trying to keep his face void of any emotion, but he could tell it wasn't working. he was sad and angry and it was getting worse by the minute.

"i-i... i said a bad thing once. it was in the heat of the moment. i-i swear, it's never going to happen again."

"but that's the thing, mike!" will raised his voice, which was starting to tremble. "you can't say that, because it will happen again. maybe not with me, no, but with someone else? you lose your temper so, so easily. you just can't say you'll never do it again."

"will-"

"and you said a bad thing once. maybe that's true, mike, but you have no idea how hurt i am. you called me what my father has called me, what the bullies call me. fuck! what the whole fucking school calls me! you know that's my weak spot, so you're no better than all the bullies." he glared at mike, his eyes watering.

and much to will's surprise, mike was already crying.

"will, i'm sorry," mike sobbed. "i-i didn't mean for it to hurt you so badly. i'm such a stupid fucking asshole. i didn't mean it, you're n-not what i said you were. i was just angry and now i know that was stupid because now i'm about to lose you and you're my best friend and i don't know what i'd do without you."

"and what if i was what you said?" will spat. "what if i was a pansy? what if i was a queer, a faggot, a homo? i think your entire speech would be a whole lot different." the hateful words that will used were stabbing right into his own heart.

"it wouldn't! will, i wouldn't care if you were gay-" will noted how he didn't use a homophobic slur, "-i wouldn't care at all. that wouldn't stop me from being your friend."

now will was crying. he couldn't stop himself. mike stepped forward and wrapped his arms around will. will cried into his chest, letting mike hug him tightly. "i hate you," will sobbed. he wanted to hate mike. but he couldn't. not after the big ass apology he had just made. not after reassuring will that mike wouldn't hate him if he was gay.

mike didn't reply, he just continued to hold will in his arms, letting him cry into his chest.

"hey," mike said softly after a while. "look at me."

will didn't listen, he didn't want mike to see him with puffy eyes and a red face. mike moved his arm and placed a hand underneath will's chin, forcing him to look up. will burned at the touch, but also felt relieved that mike's eyes looked just as red as his own.

"i'm sorry," mike whispered, rubbing will's back with his other arm. "i really am."

"i-it's okay," will said, wanting to look away. his cheeks were now going red for a completely different reason, and his stomach felt like it was doing hundreds of flips.

then mike did something that made will blush even more. though mike did it for not even a second,

will saw mike glance at his lips.

author's note
wbk mike will always go to apologise to will straight away. my boys are in love.

6:55am — 29 october 2019