Can't Run From You

Chapter 53

Thea's POV

As soon as my dad had closed the door I lost it. I couldn't be in that house anymore. How could they have thought that this would be okay? I grabbed my keys off my night stand, and opened the window. I know I should stay, and I know that I will probably be in big trouble if I just leave, but this isn't right. Without another though I jumped onto the tree. I climbed down, being very careful not to fall. The first time I did this I fell the last like 4 feet, and nearly broke neck. But that's another story for another time. I was still in my skirt and crop top so it was actually had a really hard climbing down without falling. As I got down from the tree and landed on the ground I started walking towards my car. I was trying to act normal, like everything was fine and that I was just getting something from the car, and not about to get the hell out of here. I had almost reached my car when I saw Clarke walking back from her own vehicle.

"Hey kid where you going?" I hadn't gotten that far yet.

"Uh I forgot something at the field house yesterday I was going to see if I could go get it."

"The field house is locked on weekends." Clarke gave me a look.

"Dammit."

"What'd you forget? Is it important?"

"Yeah I need it for this thing we're doing tomorrow with my family." Clarke knew I was lying but she smiled anyways and said

"Okay well here. You can take my keys. This one opens the front door and this one turns on the lights." She held up the two keys and gave them to me.

"Thank you." I said as I grabbed the keys from her. Clark walked back into the house and closed the door behind her. I wondered if she would tell my parents I was leaving. Even if she did it wouldn't matter, they can't do anything if I'm already gone. I looked down at the keys and debated if I should even go there. I was going to just go to the track, but it's hot outside. I got in my car and drove to the field house. It wasn't a long drive but after today it felt like it took forever for me to get where I was going. When I got there, I couldn't remember which freaking key she told me it was. I was outside the door trying to figure it out for like 10 minutes. When I finally got the door open I spent another 15 minutes trying to find the key to turn the lights on. I finally got it all figured out after about 20 minutes of trying. I slowly went inside; it felt weird being the only one here, but I like of liked it. I walked down the hall remembering all the times Eli and I came here to take ice baths or to get her ankle wrapped for the thousandth time. I walked into the ice bath room and turned the lights on. I stared at the big silver tub for a minute before I decided to jumped in. The metal was cold against my skin but I didn't mind it. I had been in the heat for the past couple minutes trying to figure out which damn key was the right one.

The first time I'd ever been in one of these with Eli was when I was telling her that we couldn't be together. I can still remember the way her voice broke when she told me to choose her. I can feel the way my heart shattered into a million pieces when I told her that I could never be with her. I remembered the way I felt when she walked out and left me sitting alone in the freezing water. I could feel the ache in my bones just thinking about the cold water. That was the coldest ice bath I'd ever taken.

I put my head down on my knees and thought about Eli. I thought about today. I turned 17 today and the love of my life wasn't even here to share it with me. I'm not allowed to see her. I'm not allowed to talk to her. If my parents could have it their way I wouldn't even be allowed to think about her. But that's the thing. I think about her all the time. Every minute of the day. I think about how much she loves me. How much I love her. I think about the way she laughs at the stupidest things. How she always has something smart to say. That she never lets me have the last word but I always get to kiss her last. I loved the way she said my name, the way she put her hand on my cheek when we kissed. I loved how she always knows what to say even though she thinks she doesn't. I love that she never judges me. She pushes me when I need it but she never forced me to do anything. She was the person that made me feel like I could do anything. When I was with her I felt like I could be more. Like I was invincible. Like we were invincible.

I lost track of time thinking about Eli. Every time my brain would start leaning towards my parents and today and how much it sucked, I would go back to Eli. I kept getting in and out of the tub. I would walk around the room, or start messing with the different things they had in here. When I'd already looked through all the cabinets I walked to the weight room. I sat around and laid on the benches. When I got bored with that I went back to the ice bath room. I didn't wanna go home. I didn't want to do anything except wallow in self-pity. When I got to the familiar room I got back in the tub, for some reason being in it made me feel, safe. I had been in there for about 5 minutes when I heard someone running down the hall way. When I looked up a split-second later Eli was there standing in the hallway looking out of breath and sexy as fuck. What the hell is she doing here?

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After Eli and I talked in the tub for a good 20 minutes we walked out of the field house. I turned all the lights off and locked the door behind me. Eli lead me out the doors and to our cars with her hand in mine. As we got closer to the cars I could see my mom in Eli's jeep. We were getting closer to it when Eli stopped dead in her tracks, I nearly ran into her.

"What're you doing?"

"Give me your key." She stuck out her hand and gestured for me to give them to her. I was already about to give them to her when I said,

"Why?"

"Because you're going to go talk to your mom and I'm going to wait in your car." I wanted to protest but Eli had already grabbed my keys out of my hand. I rolled my eyes and walked back towards the jeep. My mom was still in the passenger's seat just watching us. I walked around to the driver's seat and opened the door. I don't know why I was doing this, but I was. I stepped up onto the jeep, got situated then closed the door. I only looked at my mom once before I focused in on the steering wheel. Her face wasn't angry. It was sad and it hurt me to know I did that.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. We sat in silence for a couple more minutes. I was staring straight at the steering wheel, refusing to look anywhere other than at the black wheel. I had this feeling deep in my stomach. It was nervous and anxious, and it was spreading through my body. I couldn't explain why but I felt like I was in trouble. Like at any moment my mom would just start yelling at me for making her worry and for being such a little shit. Another minute or two passed before I finally looked at my mom. I could see the tears falling freely down her face. I didn't know what to do. What do you even say in a situation like this? I turned in my seat to face her. I put my hand gently on hers and asked

"Mom?" She looked me in the eyes with that sad still look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Thea."

"For what?" I knew what she was apologizing for but for some stupid reason the question fell out of my mouth.

"I've made this so difficult for you. I... I want what's best for you, and I thought that I was doing what was right. I didn't realize how much I was hurting you and Eli. Thea I've only ever wanted you to be happy and I am so sorry that I've caused you so much pain." By now I was crying. Not just a couple tears falling, no I was full on crying with tears falling down my face and I felt like I could barely breathe.

"I know you love her. And I know now that she loves you too. I just I want you to be happy. If she makes you happy then that's it."

"I do. I love her so much mom. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her. She makes me so happy. I'm sorry that I put you through all of this but I'd do anything for her." My mom looked at me and put her hand on my head.

"I know honey." She then wiped the tears off my cheek and hugged me over the center console. It was uncomfortable and awkward but I didn't want her to let go of me. As she held me I felt like the hole inside of me was slowly starting to go away. Like maybe I could finally feel like I wasn't missing something. I didn't feel as broken anymore.

"I love you mom." My mom pulled me in closer to her.

"I love you too."