Prince Charming Must Die

18. Life Gives You Bruises

"No, but I can get the Third Regiment to scope out the castle for ya if that'd help."

"It would. Thank you! Wait. Mice have regiments?"

"Oh, yeah. You gotta protect your turf, what with the limited resources. The best mates and the stinkiest cheeses don't just show up in your nest if you know what I mean. Anyway, see you later." The mouse scurried through a hole in the stones.

On the way out of the kitchens, the prospect of hope lifting her spirits, Ashley requested a crudité platter with various dips, assorted olives, and fancy nut mix to be delivered to the Jacuzzi room. She gave strict instructions that there be no bread, which was apparently the gluten-fraught culprit so abhorrent to Layyin.

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Steam rose from the heated water, clouding the windows overlooking the garden and blurring the strands of fairy lights floating over the heart-shaped pool. Instead of lemon, the servants had infused the water with rose perfume, which wasn't Ashley's favorite. It reminded her of the evil wallpaper in her bedroom. In turn, this made her think about the bed, the rose petals, the botched seduction, and being left chained to the bed by Charming.

Sadira, Layyin, Derek, and Tressa wore thick white robes and sat at the Jacuzzi's edge, stirring the water with their feet, snacking, and drinking. They'd already finished off two bottles of chardonnay.

Two robes remained on their hooks. Kai's, because she preferred frolicking in the water, and Blanche's, whose absence hung as heavy in the air as the steam.

Kai darted from one end to the other just beneath the cloudy surface. With her otherworldly black and golden hair and silvery-blue scales, the mermaid princess seemed more dream than reality.

Ashley's life sometimes felt like a dream. Like at any time, she would wake up beside the hearth at her Stepmonster's house, covered in soot, body aching, her stepsisters demanding their breakfast.

"Any luck finding Blanche?" Sadira asked, nibbling a carrot.

"Not yet, but I'm sure she'll show up any minute with a story the bards will tell for years to come. A story so good, it'll make Bill Bard's Top Ten List."

"Are there macadamias in that nut assortment?" Layyin said, shoulders drooping. "Mom says I'm allergic."

"I don't think so, but maybe stick to the celery just in case," Ashley said. Poor Layyin. How difficult her life must be when she had to fear things like bread and peas and nuts.

Once everyone had eaten their fill, they removed their robes and joined Kai, slipping into the warm water. Ashley palmed the bottle of Wane & Tail from her pocket before entering.

"Should we learn about each other's likes and dislikes now so that we can drive Charming insane?" Sadira said.

"I've been thinking about that, and I have a better idea. It will help us with item number three on the list of Charming's favorite things." Ashley displayed the bottle of Wane & Tail.

"What is it?" Derek said.

"I like the bottle," Tressa said, holding out her hand. "Is it perfume? Can I try it?"

"No!" Ashley said abruptly, drawing the bottle out of Tressa's reach.

"Wow! Overreact much?"

"Sorry, I just ... I don't know what this would do to you. I only know how it affects males."

"You mentioned item number three?" Derek said, licking his lips. "Take away his sex life. I'd thought we'd settled on that one. None of us will do the nasty with Charming ever again."