Lovin' You

Chapter 8

Heidi's POV~

I looked into his eyes and then left. What was wrong with me. Why did I let him kiss me. This could wreck everything. We were walking to get a coke when a guy in a blue mustang pulled up. He asked to talk to Pony, alone, so we walked away and he got into this guys car. They talked for a while and then Pony came back and we continued walking. "What did he want?" Two-bit asked. "Nothing." Pony said. "There's going to be a rumble tonight." "I know, I'm going." Pony said. "Can I go?" I asked. They both looked at me like I had just told them about Johnny. "No. You can't go." Pony finally told me. "And why not?" I asked. I was upset. "I don't want you fighting or getting caught up in this." "I don't want to fight. I can watch from a distance in the truck." I said. Why on Earth would I want to fight a bunch of boys? "We'll talk about it later." He told me. We kept walking until we bumped into a red head girl in the lot. "Hey Pony. Can I y'all to you for a second?" She asked. She looked at me. "Alone?" She added once she realized that we weren't moving. "Yeah." He looked back at us. Then me and Two-bit walked away. I looked over at them talking. "Who is that?" I asked Two. "That's Cherry, she testified and said that they killed bob on a account of self defense.", "They sure do seem to get along real well." He added. I got hot. Two looked at me noticed a was upset. He didn't say anything. I guess he didn't know how to comfort me about something like that. Pony hugged Cherry, and then walked over to us. "What's going on?" I asked trying to sound as calm as possible. "Nothing." Pony said. He sounded annoyed with me. I sensed something was up, I just looked down at my feet and kept walking. "Hey Two, me and Heidi are gonna head over to the park for awhile. We'll be back in time for the rumble tonight." "Alight see y'all later." And then he walked off. We walked quietly to the park. He didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him. We finally made it and we sat down on a bench. "What wrong." He looked at me and asked. "Nothing wrong." I said. I wanted him to tell me first. "Are you ok?" I asked. "I guess so. Actually no, I'm not." "Well then what's wrong?" I was getting worried. "I love you Heidi. But," he paused for a minute. "Cherry, Cherry is great. And she told me back there that she liked me." I took a deep breath. Then I looked down at the grass. Did he just tell me he liked Cherry? "Are you ok?" He asked me. Was he stupid? Of course I'm not ok. I felt a tear roll down me face. I quickly wiped it off. I didn't want him to see me cry. "I'm fine. I'm going to go now." I got up and ran. I was running to his house, but I ran. I wanted to tell soda, and Darry. Soda can comfort me. I ran and ran. I ran through the gate up to door. I knocked, even though it's always open. Soda came to the door. "Hey Heidi, what's wron-" And then hugged him. And just let it all out. He rubbed my back and told me it would be alright. He lead me to Darry's room, so that if Pony came he wouldn't see us talking. "What happened?" He asked me. I stopped crying and was just kinda, shocked. "Pony, told me that he liked Cherry." He looked shocked. "Cherry likes him to." I added. He got a angry look. "Johnny kissed me. In the hospital. He said he was in love with me." I started crying again. "Why would Johnny do that?" I asked through sobs. "I don't know honey, I don't know." He just kept rubbing my back. We heard the door open and Pony come in. "Anyone home?" He sounded fine. Soda jumped up and ran to meet him. I heard a loud bang and then Pony, "What was that For?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" Soda asked. He sounded mad. "Don't you know that Heidi loves you? That Cherry girl is older than you." He was mad. I didn't want that to happen. "How do you know?" He was mad an confused. He jumped out and said yelling out my name. "Heidi!" "Come here!" He finally walked into Darry's room. "Hey why would you tell my brother?", "Sodas my friend, I thought he would comfort me not hit you." I said. "Yeah well you thought wrong." How could he talk to me like that.  "Pony I just don't understand! After all this? After I stayed with you? Why didn't you tell me? Why pony?" He just stared at me. I don't do this. When I'm mad a usually just walk away or get snappy. But now, I was crying, and yelling. This has really never happened. "Pony I love you. So much. But I don't think I can be with you after this." I walked past him out the door way and walked out the front door. Everyone looking at me. Even Darry came through to see me. In an hour or so the rumble would start. I wasn't only going to watch I was going to fight. I was going to show him. Pony walked out the front door. He was too dumbfounded to come after me so he just watched me walk away amazed that I had blown up in his face. I walked all the way home. I went up stairs, my mom wouldn't be coming home tonight. She was out of town for the week. I went into my room and straight to the closet. I got my jeans and T-shirt. I put on my converse and threw over sodas flannel that he gave to me. I was ready to go. I ran out the door and my way to the empty lot. When I arrived the socs were already there. "Oh look they think a little girl can fight us?" One of them said laughing. I just flipped my hair and ignored them. I was the shy girl, not this girl. But tonight, I would be this girl. The girl who would fight and be bad. Not long after their remark Darry's truck pulled up and Shepard's gang ran up. "What are you doing here?" Pony asked. "The same thing your doing." I replied. Just then Steve hit a Soc and then fighting started. One Soc came right for me, I guess he thought I was an easy target. He ran over and slapped me, I was stunned. I ran up and pushed him. He won and pushed me to the ground, I wasn't going to show up and fight and then get pounded. He was trying to pin my arms down but I kept pushing. I managed to roll him over. I kneed him in his stomach, and he gasped. He was mad now. He rolled me over and started pinning me down, whispering vulgar things in my ear. He separated my legs so I couldn't kick and was calling over one of his friends when pony ran over. Pony came and kicked him in his head. He rolled over and held onto his head. Pony helped me up. "You shouldn't be doing this." "You shouldn't have helped me." I looked at his head. He was bleeding really badly. "Pony your head..." "What, oh. I got kicked in the head too." He grabbed my arm and dragged me away. We saw Dallas run into the fight from a distance. "What the hell are you thinking?" Pony asked me. "Let go of me." I told him. He let go of my arm. "Heidi stop, why are doing this?" I want to get back at you? I want to show you that I'm tough? I thought. "Because Pony. Why do I have to tell you anything anymore?" "Me liking Cherry shouldn't be the reason for you to get yourself killed." "Yeah well I bet you'd feel the same way." Then I thought of all the pain I was in, if I told him about Johnny would he feel it too? "Me and Johnny kissed." I said looking dead into his eyes. "What?" He looked sad. "You heard me." I said to him. He turned around. "You mean to tell me that you cheated on me?" I didn't think of that. "No." It wasn't fun anymore. "Then what are saying?" "He said that he loved me, and wanted to tell me Incase he died. At first I thought he meant in a best friend way but he told me he didn't. He asked to hug me and so I said yes, and then he kissed me. I left the room after that, because I love you and I knew that it was wrong." He looked at me sadly. I loves Ponyboy. But he didn't love me. "I love you." He told me. Could he read minds? "What?" I asked. He grabbed me and kissed me. I don't know what is going on. He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. We walked all the way to his house like that. We walked in and he walked me to his room and laid me down on his bed And then he got in too. He pulled me close to his chest, "I don't know why I thought I liked Cherry." Why was forgiving his so easily. "This isn't right pony." I told him. "What do mean? Isn't this what you want? Don't you want me?" I did, but not like this. I'm not cheap, you can't throw me to the curb and then decide you want me again. I have to be earned. "You can't just use me like this." I told him. "You can't not want me, and then want me again." He let me go out of his arms. "Heidi, I love you. I'm sorry, I know I'm in the wrong. But I'm in love with you." He sounded so desperate. I got up and left. I walked around for hours not knowing where I was or where I was going. I was walking past a store when I saw Dally. He was smoking a weed. "Hey kid what are you doing out here?" It took me a second to understand what he was saying. "Oh nothing. I'm walking." "Your bleeding." He told me. "I am?" I didn't know. "Yeah on your head." I felt my head and it stung. "Come here." He told me. I walked over to him. "What happened, I heard you fought and then Pony dragged you out." "I was mad. It's nothing." "Whatever you say." He said. I walked off. I made up my mind I was going to see Johnny.  I walked all the way to the hospital. When I got there no one else was there but the nurse in the front desk. "Excuse me, can you tell me what room Johnny Cade is in?" "Johnny Cade.... yes he's in room 205 on the second floor." I ran to the stairs, elevators are too slow. I ran into the second floor hallway and walked around until I found room 205. I knocked and then opened the door. Johnny was reading. "What are you doing here?" He asked. "I needed to see you." I said walking over and sitting down on his bed. "Your bleeding." He said. "Yeah I was in the rumble." "What?!" He was shocked. "Yeah I was upset and decided to be in the rumble." "Why were you upset?" "Pony told me that he liked Cherry." He looked down at his book. "Wow, that's awful." "Then I told him about the kiss. And then he picked me up and took me to his house. I told him I wasn't cheap and that he couldn't want me and then not want me." I was rambling and just couldn't stop talking. He sat and listened to me. I liked that. "Well you had a busy night." "I guess so." We just kinda sat there smiling at each other for while. "Do you hear that?" Johnny asked. "Hear what?" Then Pony ran in. He stood in the door way and just looked at us. "Why are you here Pony?" I asked aggravated. "I came to tell you that you aren't cheap. And that I'm confused. Really confused. But I'm not confused about loving you." I stood up. I looked at him like a mom looks at her kids when they are not having it, "I'm not arguing in front of Johnny." I told him. "Then don't argue, just listen." I looked at him waiting to continue." "Heidi, when I first met you I can still remember how nervous I was. I remember your yellow skirt, and Dallas and Johnny saying that you were Beautiful. I remember wondering if you were going to be my Scarlett O'Hara. Then I removed my surprise, the first time we kissed. Me banging on your window and ya talking all night and then you bumping into me in the morning and my towel dropped. Heidi, I think I was just scared. I was scared about how much I loved you and thought that maybe if I liked someone else that would fix it. I know that makes no sense at all, but it's what I thought was right. I'm in love with you. And I'm sorry if I make you feel cheap. If Johnny can make you happier then I'm not going to stop you." He looked at me the whole time saying this. He was teary eyes now and so was I. How could I forgive him? How couldn't I? I'm confused.