Different

14.

But do you really know him, Mila? Maybe it's all an act and he's not who he seems to be. 

My brain doesn't ever want me to have peace and quiet, a thousand thoughts are running through my head. Jace plops down right next to me, and lays himself on his side. He takes a second to look at me. 

"What's on your mind?" he says, and I wonder how he always knows what I'm feeling.

I look at him, sighing quietly. 

"I just don't think I'm ever going to be okay with... the whole drug dealer situation" I try to be as honest as possible and lay down just like him.

The whole bed feels like it's moving right away, so I try and sit back up a little again.

"We don't have to figure this out today. Can we just be here, together?" he says, puts his head on the pillow and I agree with him silently. 

He kept that he was a drug dealer from me, but didn't I keep something from him too?

"You know, you're not the only one with a secret" I say quietly, regretting it instantly, looking down to avoid Jace's stare. 

The wine in me is speaking for me.

"What do you mean?" he says all serious.

"Remember when you said I was different?" I say and Jace nods. 

"The first thing I thought when you said that, was that you don't know how different I really am."  

Why do I have to be so drunk and say all of these stupid things?

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Jace says honestly.

"If I tell you, you're going to run for it" I answer, because I don't want him to know just yet. 

Stupid, drunk me.

"Nothing's going to scare me off that easily" he answer chuckling.

"Let's just say I'm complicated. You'll see" I try and signal him that I don't want to talk about it.

 Surprisingly, he lets it go. 

"Can I ask you one more thing?" I say cautiously.

"Sure."

"Do you sell to your friends? Is that why your were angry with them last week?" I ask.

"Good combination, Sherlock" Jace chuckles back at me. 

"They couldn't pay, and that can get me in fucking trouble."

I nod and say nothing for a little while. 

"If you don't take cocaine yourself, then why do you let your friends do it? That's kind of a horrible thing to do" I ask further, trying not to offend him. 

More and more questions are building up inside me. Jace sighs. 

"Can we talk about this another time, Mila?" he begs, a little sour.

"Sure" I say quietly and nod my head.

Letting this go is hard for me, but I'll try. I still can't help but wonder if he lied to me about his mother. He probably makes enough money to pay for his car and apartment on his own. Otherwise, why would he still sell?

For now, all I know is that I'm in the house of a drug dealer, whom I'm sleeping in the same bed with. I don't even know who am I am anymore, but somehow I love every second of it. I have to admit that to myself.

I should have just closed my eyes, but no. Once again I had to overthink everything. Now I'm paying the price.

The sickness in my stomach is getting worse by the minute. I've never thrown up from alcohol before, but this is it. I can feel it. I shoot up and head right for the bathroom, my quick movements startling Jace slightly.

I notice that he's right behind me, mumbling a quiet "Fuck."

I close the door to the bathroom behind me, open the toilet lid and let it all out. The door doesn't stop Jace, he comes in and holds my hair with one hand. I can only throw up once, nothing more is coming out. 

"Get out Jace, please. I'm disgusting" I say, as I lean back against the wall putting my hands on my head. 

Even though throwing up was terrible, I feel better immediately.

"You're not disgusting" Jace chuckles. 

Even in situations like these, he can laugh. He's probably seen a lot of this. 

"Feel better?"

"A little, yeah" I stand up to flush the toilet, wash my hands and brush my teeth for the second time today.

"I didn't know it was that bad" he chuckles again. 

When I turn back around, Jace stands in the door with an aspirin and a glass of water. 

"Take this" he says and I follow his demand. "You'll sleep better."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want any of this to happen, I feel terrible" I say, very embarrassed. 

"It's never happened before" I add, admitting it towards him.

"Really?" Jace says surprised, while we move back to bed. "So innocent" he mumbles more to himself.

"I usually know how much I can have..." I drift off.

"Don't worry, it was an eventful evening. I'm not all innocent in that" he says.

I'm happy when we return to bed. We go back to laying on our sides again. 

"I guess" I say quietly.

I have no idea how late it is, but I know I'm extremely tired. After everything that happened, I feel a little panicky. It's like I can never have rest. I just threw up and my head doesn't seem to stop spinning. I'm in some strangers apartment who's a drug dealer, and all of a sudden I start to feel uncomfortable again. 

But Jace is not really a stranger, is he? 

The tears are coming any second now.

"What now?" Jace says cautiously. 

I just shake my head, not wanting to answer. 

"Do you want me to take you to your place?" 

Is that what I want? I don't think it is. I have no idea what to say. 

"Well, I want you to stay. Come here" Jace says, rolling onto his back.

He opens his arms for me to lay in. I don't move, so he pulls me up on his chest. He wraps his arm around my waist, and all of a sudden I feel safe again. 

I feel like everything is going to be okay, and with that I can finally drift off to sleep. 

_______________________________

What happens in the morning?

Thank you for reading :) Please leave a vote!