Afterwards || Dean Winchester [3]

Chapter 8

Zara's POV

Hours had passed and Dean still hadn't returned. And with each passing hour, I grew more and more worried. What if something had happened to him? Then all of a sudden, as if he'd read my mind, my phone began to ring. It displayed Dean's contact on the small screen. I snatched the phone up and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

His voice was muffled. "Hey it's me. We're heading back to Bobby's. You and Sam need to get down there now, okay?"

"Okay. Do you know what that thing was?"

He was silent for a moment. "I'll talk to ya when we all get down there."

"Alright..."

He didn't even say goodbye. He just hung up. It was like he was in some sort of hurry...but why?

***

When we arrived at Bobby's, Dean was waiting outside.

"What's going on?" I questioned.

He said nothing. Instead, he just guided me inside and Sam followed. Once we were finally inside, I noticed he had a look on his face. One I believed I'd seen before. It wasn't a pleasant look. It was an expression that only appeared when the impossible happened. He hesitated before speaking. "Okay so apparently...an angel rescued me from Hell. And that was the thing that attacked us. He claimed he was trying to speak to me."

"Why would an angel rescue you from Hell?"

He gave me a look of relief as he spoke. "Exactly! An angel couldn't have done this!"

"Why not?" Bobby said from the armchair across the room.

"Well for one, they don't even exist! And besides...even if they did exist, what would an angel want with me? What would God want with me?"

"Dean. Why do you find this so hard to believe?" Sam asked.

"Because if there is a God out there, why would he give a crap about me?! I'm just a regular guy. I'm not important!"

"Well what else could it be?"

"I dunno. A demon, maybe?"

"Dean, that doesn't make sense."

"Well neither does the angel thing!"

He did have a point. This whole thing was just bizarre. Why would an angel pull him out of Hell? It just didn't make any sense. And even though his theories were probably just based off of a lifetime of self loathing, he did make a valid point.

***

"Dean? Are you okay?" I asked quietly, before taking a sip of my drink. After everything that went down at Bobby's, we'd decided to go to a bar to take a break. I swear, we weren't alcoholics. We just had really crappy lives.

"I'm good." He growled.

"I'm sorry all this has happened to you."

He let out a humourless laugh. "Yeah, I bet you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on. You were so happy when it was just you and Sam. I can see how disappointed you are."

It broke my heart to hear him speak that way. And maybe, on some level, it was true. I was beginning to grow more comfortable with Sam. But when Dean came back, I was both thrilled and terrified. Even after he was gone, I never stopped loving him. Before he came back, I would fantasise about what our lives would've been like if he'd lived. But as each long and painful month passed, I began to realise how impossible that dream was. And I knew that I finally had to accept that that was all it was. A dream. A fantasy. Something that would never come true. Until on that special day, when it was no longer a dream. That moment was no longer out of my grasp. It was right there in front of me. But when I saw his face, it was like something had changed. My special dream had been altered. It no longer included Dean and I falling deeply in love. Instead, it involved two lovers being pulled apart. And I hated that I was unable to love him again, like I used to. But I had to accept that that was just the harsh reality, and I had to live with it.

"I though about you all the time," I said softly.

He turned to look at me. "What?"

"When you were dead, I thought about you all the time."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He still spoke in a harsh tone, but I didn't care.

"I dunno. I just thought I'd put it out there."

He just turned away. And as he did, I noticed a small smile appear on his face. He might've acted like he didn't have a heart, but I knew it was in there somewhere. I always knew.