James's POV
"Babe," a sickly voice said, causing me to look up from the table.
Caitlyn eyed me suspiciously. "What's with you lately?" She asked, sliding onto the seat across from me.
"Nothing," I replied, as my fingernails dug into the plastic table.
"Okay," she said before turning back to her friends.
Sighing, I leaned back and stared out the window, watching the clouds roll by. Everything had become so much harder for me the past few days.
I could hear her laughing and I hated that it was my brother and not I, that made her do it. Every part of me just wanted to get up and go over there, maybe punch him in the face and take her hand and run away.
But I knew she had made her choice, and I had to accept it.
I was a dick to her, lied to her and pretended to be on her side. I didn't lie about loving her, not at all.
Because I did.
She wasn't like anyone I had ever met, she didn't feel the need to change for anybody. She just stayed herself, her witty, sarcastic and clever self.
I heard her laughing again and I couldn't help but look up and over to her.
Christie was leaning over the table, her hand on her mouth and she tried to quiet her laughing. My eyes darted to Chase who was laughing with her, gesturing with his hands.
A streak of jealously ran through me and I looked back at Caitlyn to see her place her hand on Kai's bicep. Narrowing my eyes, I looked away.
I hated this. I hated that I couldn't escape my own decision. I hated that I was popular, that I was this awful human being. I loathed the girl I was in a relationship with and loved a girl I will never have.
A part of me wished that I could just stand up and tell them all to go fuck themselves but I couldn't, cause I was a selfish hypocrite.
Because yes, I hated being popular, but who would I be without it?
I'd just be another washed up dude who wished he had just stayed where he was. Being adopted was hard enough, the constant feeling of not being included into the family.
I know they loved me, like they loved Chase. I know my parents would do anything for me, but some part of me wondered what was wrong with me to get handed up for adoption in the first place.
Was I too hard to handle?
Could my birth mother not afford me?
Or maybe it was just they couldn't love me.
Maybe I was a child born from unwanted relations.
I had tried to not let it ever affect my social life, or my thoughts at all but it began to sink as I inched closer and closer to Graduation.
It was a momentous occasion, I had succeeded in living through hell but my birth parents wouldn't be there to see it. I could find them, my adopted parents had never stopped me from finding them but I think the fear of seeing them, meeting them and finding out why they didn't want me was the reason I never looked for them.
Besides, I had a family now.
I had a mother who loved me, a Dad who taught me how to build shit and a brother who stuck by me.
Even if he was laughing with the girl I loved.
"James, lunch is over," my snobby regret said as she pursed her lips.
She always said she wanted to look like a Kardashian, but I never understood the want to be famous for physical appareance.
Beauty doesn't last. Nor does the plastic surgery that family seemed to get every Instagram post.
The type of beauty that lasted was intelligence, humour and the way eyes crinkled up when they laughed.
The way her eyes crinkled up when she laughed.
She was breathtaking, blonde hair that could've passed as brunette, wide hopeful eyes, deep breaths when she was nervous. The hollow of her throat pulsing when she felt something.
I remembered kissing her, feeling her eyeslashes against my cheek. Her warm skin, warm lips. How she tasted like bubblegum.
I was never going to forget that kiss, or any kisses I had shared with her. Especially our first, the one we had at the party.
It was a dress up party, and she came as Hermoine Granger, the one from Harry Potter. I had played off my super white hair and came as Legolas from Lord of the Rings.
Which was secretly, my favourite movie.
We had started a game of spin the bottle. You know, those cliche games you play. And when the bottle landed on me, Kai had told me to kiss any girl in the room.
I remember Caitlyn primping her hair and then I remember locking eyes with Christie, she gave me a half sad smile as if she had thought no one would pick her.
After that, all I could remember was the feeling of kissing her. Even if it was a short kiss.
"James!" Caitlyn scolded.
Sighing, I pushed myself up and shot one last look over at Christie's table before following Caitlyn from the Cafeteria. She was gossiping with her friend as I strung along behind her.
"Yo, you alright dude?" Kai asked, falling into step with me.
I glanced at him as he frowned. "You look depressed as fuck, what's on your mind?" He asked as we kept walking.
"I don't know, I guess I'm just sick of living like this," I replied as Caitlyn stopped to trip a younger girl.
"You're popular, dude, so many people would kill to be in your position, I know it can get a little boring sometimes, but you've got it all!" Kai exclaimed.
I looked at him, wondering how he could possibly think that's all I wanted in life. "What?" I asked.
"You've got an amazing group of friends, a hot and funny girlfriend, and you're complaining" Kai replied.
"Are you serious right now?" I asked, stopping in my tracks.
Caitlyn glanced at us, her eyes flitting up with Kai's with a smirk. "Yeah dude," Kai replied.
Amger surged right through me and I grabbed the front of his shirt, pushing him back. His back slammed against the lockers as I held him there.
"Chill dude!" Kai exclaimed.
"You don't know anything about my life!" I yelled, as Kai tried to push me away.
"James!" Caitlyn scolded.
"I said chill!" Kai kept saying.
"If you want to fuck Caitlyn so much than you can fucking have her because I'm done with you, her and this whole popularity shit!" I snapped before pushing him into the lockers again.
I let go of him and stepped back.
Kai straightened his jacket. Caitlyn glared at me. "What the hell is wrong with you!" She snapped.
"Go fuck yourself Caitlyn," I replied before pushing past her and walking away.
A/N
Oof I think James has finally lost his shit.
I wonder what he's going to do next.
He's just a little bit jealous over his brother and Christie. I do wonder if they'll be a thing.
Hmm, what do you guys think?
Who do you ship?
Christie and James
Or
Christie and Chase?
Don't forget to vote and comment! Lots of love, tavana xoxoxoxox
