heartstrings - fillie

012

«CHAPTER TWELVE»

no.

i can't do it. i can't kiss him.

"you got this millie," sadie whispers, giving me a nudge.

i keep my expression blank. he's waiting. i slowly get on all fours and move towards his expectant face. his lips look soft. his breath smells clean.

but my heart can't handle it. my arms are shaking as i move forward and the room is spinning around me.

we're close. i can hear his breathing. it seems so loud. but the rhythmic drumming in my chest is louder. still, i move closer and closer...

i jerk away, leaving him in that awkward position. another second and our lips would've touched.

"sorry, i—i gotta go. sorry."

i move so fast that sadie doesn't even have time to grab hold of me as i maneuver my way out of the dreadful circle.

the room continues to spin and my heartbeat stays loud in my ears as i push my way through the crowd of people. i feel my breath quicken and my chest getting tighter still. tears fill my eyes and blur my vision, making it all the more difficult to find someplace i can be alone.

i finally find an empty bedroom and collapse onto the floor.

a few moments later, the door opens.

"sadie, please--"

but it's not sadie. it's iris.

"hey.." she looks at me with sympathetic eyes.

"um, hey--" i quickly wipe the tears off my face.

"are you okay?" her tone is kind.

i sigh, "not really."

she makes her way over to me and sits down.

"your first high school party?"

"that obvious?"

"yeah..i'm sorry you were put in that position. but he's not that bad of a guy."

she's talking about romeo.

"still, i didn't want to kiss him." i look down.

"i get that. but you're a pretty girl, millie. you might have to get used to attention from guys."

"yeesh, i hope not. guys can be such jerks sometimes."

"true. like jacob sartorius. why do all the girls have to like him?"

"right?! i've already had a run-in of sorts with him tonight."

"oh yeah, i was there. gave him a good punch in the arm for it."

"that was you?"

she nods, smiling.

why does she have to be so nice?

"thanks for that."

"of course. he shouldn't be treating girls like that."

there's a pause. then she speaks up again.

"what about the guy you're always with. finn? he's not so bad, is he?"

my heart drops. why are we talking about him now?

"i would think there's something going on with you two," she says.

what? she thinks i have a thing with finn?

"uh, no. there isn't."

"you seem disappointed at that."

i sigh, closing my eyes and giving her a small nod.

"why don't you just make a move then? give it a try?"

i shrug, unable to tell her why i know it won't work out. but thinking about it, what if she's right? what if i just give it a shot? just to see what would happen?

"i don't know..."

"shoot your shot sis!"

i laugh at that.

"maybe i will."

she smiles at me.

"i'll leave you then," she stands up, "it was nice talking to you millie."

she gives me another smile before walking out.

-

[553}

wow i updated can u believe it

lmao i hope you enjoyed this.

sincerely,

lucia