heartstrings - fillie

005

«CHAPTER FIVE»

i wake slowly to a peaceful silence.

this isn't my bed. it has soft, baby blue sheets and a fluffy white comforter. i'm in an attic room with a window framing the bed and a simple white desk to the right. next to the desk sits a beautiful electric guitar. finn's guitar.

just as i start to realize where i am, the door opens very carefully and finn's head pokes in.

"well if it isn't sleeping beauty." he says with a gentle smile.

i can't help but get flustered at the comment and i feel my heartbeat quicken. but i know he didn't mean to be flirtatious.

i sit up as he takes a seat at the foot of the bed.

"finn, i—"

"are you okay?" he interrupts.

i look at his heart-string.

no, i'm not okay. but you'll never understand.

"yeah, i'm fine." i lie, and fake a smile.

he doesn't look satisfied.

"what happened?"

i try to remember what had happened the night before.

"i don't really know." i confess, "i had a sort of breakdown. one minute i was in my room, the next i was here."

i look down at my hands which rest in my lap. i start to pick at my cuticles like i do when i'm nervous or embarrassed. i notice the scratches on my palms from when they caught my fall.

"you were really upset mills. i brought you up here and calmed you down a bit. and you were bleeding. how's your knee?"

i move the comforter aside and pull up my pant leg to reveal a bandaged knee.

"i almost forgot about that," i say, "thanks for patching me up."

he gives me a small smile.

then he asks what he really wants to know.

"was it because of the heartstrings?"

i cover my leg back up and continue to pick at my cuticles.

"millie?"

"i can't do this finn! they're everywhere, i can't get away from them! i know too much about everyone. i know who is meant to be in love. IN LOVE. i shouldn't be able to know this. i know what people can't know about themselves. it's the most insane invasion of privacy ever, and i hate it! i don't like to play god, finn. who decided that i get this stupid ability? why me? it's not right and i shouldn't know any of it!" a single tear escapes my eye in frustration.

finn lifts his hand and gently wipes the tear away with his thumb, then rests his hand on my face.

i love him so much.

that simply causes another tear to fall.

looking into his face is such a blessing yet such a curse. i realize exactly what happened last night. i was so consumed by my pain that it felt like my world was ending. i just had to see his face again. in a way, he saved me.

i pull him forward into a sudden hug. my face is buried into his shoulder and my arms are wrapped around him. i feel one of his hands settle on the back of my head and the other on my back, reassuringly.

"you'll be okay mills. i'm here. i'll always be here."

that. that there made everything okay for a second. but then reality sets in and i pull away. none of this is okay.

-

{566}

writing's hard man.
thanks you very mucho for reading.

also

i think finals actually killed me??...sry if this is crappy

sincerely,
lucia