heartstrings - fillie

003

«CHAPTER THREE»

the school day is finally over, and since it's a cold december we decide to go to the local coffee shop, cup o' joe. a clever name, as the owner of the shop is named joe. the place is cozy and old-fashioned. i doubt it's changed at all since the eighties.

i order a hot chocolate, finn gets a coffee, and sadie gets a soy latte. when the drinks are ready, i gladly go pick them up for my friends.

"so, anything new happening in this town?" i ask as i set down the drinks.

"not really." sadie answers, her american accent a nice contrast to my british one.

i moved from england to the small town of hawkins, indiana with my mother after the divorce. it's peaceful here. nothing too crazy happens.

"well..." finn starts, hesitant.

"what?" i ask, smiling.

"you guys know lily?"

"yeah." sadie and i answer in unison.

"she asked me out the other day."

ouch.

"look at you, gettin' girls!" sadie slaps his arm and he laughs.

"that's cool!" i manage to choke out, "what'd you say?"

"i said yeah. i really admire her confidence. and she's really pretty." he blushes a bit.

i give what i hope looks like a genuine smile.

this shouldn't hurt so much. i don't want him to have to endure all this heart-string shit. i want him to be happy and fall in love here and there, like any normal teenager.

then why haven't i told him about iris?

i shake the thought and think instead about what's going through finn's head.

he knows he doesn't have a heart-string with lily, but that hasn't stopped him from being with her. would he have asked her out? he does think she's pretty...

i wonder if he thinks i'm pretty. guys haven't payed too much attention to me and my appearance. i have short, brown hair, hazel eyes, a button nose...all average. i definitely don't compare to lily, or iris for that matter.

"something wrong?" sadie asks me, "you haven't started your drink."

"oh, it's nothing." i say, and take a sip of my hot chocolate.

finn excuses himself to use the restroom and as soon as he's gone sadie turns her attention to me.

"are you okay?"

i may not have told her about the heart-strings, but she's the only person who knows i'm in love with finn.

i shake my head in honesty. there's no point in lying to her, she sees right through my act.

"remind me again why you won't tell him how you feel?"

"he doesn't feel the same." i say, looking down at my lap.

"how do you know?"

i want to tell her so badly, but i say nothing.

she sighs, a look of defeat on her face.

"i worry about you mills."

"i'll be okay." i give her a half smile.

that was more to comfort myself than her.

sadie erases her concerned expression as finn returns from the restroom and joins us again.

i look up at him and he smiles at me. a simple, meaningless smile, yet it envelops me in a bittersweet feeling. it makes me want to fall into his arms. maybe i'd already be in them it weren't for the heart-strings. maybe i'd have made a move already. or maybe i'd still be intimidated by how he makes me feel. his smile makes my heart ache, and i wish with all that i am that the heart-strings didn't exist.

-

{586}

idk what time it is but its past 1:00 am and i'm in bed w barbecue chips, christmas lights, and a giant teddy bear. goodnight.

sincerely,
lucia