Mute (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 20

Flying up from the sofa and looking around at my surroundings, I quickly became confused as to how I got her, and where Kavaar had gone. Sweat covered the entire front and back portion of my shirt as I could still feel it dripping downward from my neck and head.

"It was a dream." I muttered to myself.

I was out of breath, angry, confused, and a little bit sad, which made the anger rise even higher. Why was I sad over a guy like this? I hardly knew him! I've known him for maybe three days at best, and yet I already had a dream about him?

The dream however, I didn't want to end. For some reason in my head I kept playing it over and over, on an endless cycle, repeating within seconds of it ending.

"Tap tap tap"

There it was again! Looking over at the door, I was ready to punch the person that woke me. It had to have been them knocking, them calling, them interrupting quite possibly the best dream I ever had!

Walking over to the door, I flung it open, ready to lay into the person that took me from my blissful journey through the REM cycle. The problem is, I've already punched this person once.

I just stood there, staring, mouth open in not only disbelief, but in anger, as I was ready to tear into the very person who was in the dream he ripped me from.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed taking a step back. "Guessing I woke you up huh? I tried to call a few times, got a little worried when you didn't answer so figured I'd swing by to make sure you were okay."

He stood their patiently, waiting on my response but I had no idea what to say. Why was he really here? I was getting tired of these mixed signals he kept throwing out, and now he was here to check on me?

"WHY ARE YO-" I started a little more angry than I meant. I could see the shock on his face as I broke off mid sentence, apologized, then continued.

"Why are you here, Kavaar? Why do you keep showing up after telling me we need to keep our distance? Why do you keep-"

"Maybe its best if we talk inside." He stated cutting me off somewhat calmly, but sternly at the same time.

I stayed quiet for a moment. Unsure of what to do. I mean, I did want answers to the questions I got out, but after what just happened when I fell asleep, I wasn't sure it was a good idea.

"Look, Leo, I just want to talk. If you don't, I understand, but there's just a few things I want to get off my chest.

Keeping silent but moving out of the way, I let him inside of the house and close the door behind us, but wouldn't move from that spot. This was the only way for him to get out at the moment, so I was going to make sure he couldn't leave until I got my answers.

He looked the same as in my dream. Calm, but determined. I could tell he wanted something, but was searching for a way to get the words out.

"Please just say what you're here for, Mr. Porter.

I could see him recoil from the use of his last name. It came out as more of an attack than I meant it too, but I had to keep stern, otherwise I knew I would get lost and confused once more.

"You don't have to call me that right now, Leo. Friends call each other by their first name."

He sounded hurt for the smallest of moments, but quickly changed his tone towards the end of the sentence. Friends? Is that what we were?

"Are we friends, though?" I asked a little more defensive than I should have. "Honestly I couldn't tell. You tell me to keep my distance, then you show up EVERYWHERE! By my car, at the park, and now at my house! I'm getting confused, and honestly pretty pissed off as well!"

He just stood there, taking in everything I was saying. He knew I was right. He knew showing up that night with a flower and a letter would confuse me, he knew laughing and spending time with me after we found each other at the park would give me mixed signals. He knew showing up here after calling on repeat because I didn't answer my phone wouldn't make any sense either.

"I came here to bring you your English book for your homework." He responded sheepishly, pulling it from the bag he kept around his shoulder. "I noticed you didn't grab one from class yesterday morning and that you'd need it for the assignment."

A wave of guilt overtook me as I realized I blew up at him when he was only looking out for me, but I was still angry. Angry that he didn't answer any of my other questions. Why he left me a note at the bottom of his apology letter, commenting on my kissing. Why he kept showing up despite his own words.

"Is that all you're here for?" I stated blandly.

Lowering his head he walked over to the table and set the book and paperwork down on the table in the living room, gave a defeated "Yes", then turned towards me so he could leave. Moving from the door I felt my heart sink. I wanted answers, I wanted to know why this kept happening, but appeared as though I wasn't going to get them.

"Okay, bye."

Moving from the door so that he could pass, I watched as he lingered by the door handle before turning around and staring at me.

"You know what, Leo? This is hard for me too! I like you, and I shouldn't. I don't even know you, you're not even eighteen, and I'm thirty-two! I'm not supposed to like someone your age! I'm trying my damndest to hold to my words of distance but I can't seem to stay away from you!"

I could see the frustration on his face, he was struggling, possibly just as much as I was. It still wasn't fair, however, of him to keep doing this to me.

"The real reason I kept calling, the reason I came over was to ask the most selfish question I have ever asked in my life."

He sounded hurt, unsure of himself. I had never heard him sound like this, almost as if he wanted to cry, which made no sense to me. He kept reaching into his bag, searching for something, until it finally found his hand and he pulled out another single red rose, this time fully intact due to not having been kicked on the ground, but still somewhat flattened from the weight of the items in his bag.

"I came here to ask if you..." he started before pausing his sentence, seemingly looking for the courage to finish it.

I came here to ask if you would be my biggest secret."

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