Take Me Back To Paddington (SERIES)

Chapter 17 - The Talk

"Lisa, you can talk to me" Jennifer uttered. "I know there's something else that you feel inside, not just grief" She started to stroke my skin with her thumb. "Do you want to talk about it?"

My eyes were still welled in tears. They kept coming back no matter how hard I tried to stop them and that was because I still had Chae in my thoughts, in my heart. That was because I couldn't stop thinking about the How and the Why that led to her death.

That was because I just couldn't accept my Chae Richards was gone.

"Regrets" I answered, looking at my best friend. "I forced her to stay at my place for a whole week, Jen. I even threatened her for not going to the seminar if-" I shook my head, pressing my lips to hold the sobs that hurt my chest with heaviness I had been suffering from ever since Chae passed. "How could I do that to her?"

"Lisa, you didn't know"

"I wouldn't leave her if-" I brought my head down when I couldn't hold the sobs anymore. They barged out even before I could finish my sentence and left the hole opened that I was so desperate to bury.

I was just weak without Chae.

"It's okay to have regrets, Lisa. Regrets teach us that we were wrong about something," Jennifer tried to calm me down while her other hand was patting my back. "Because we are humans. We are not always right, we make mistakes"

"I don't mind being wrong, Jen" I sniffled, looking back up without brushing off the tears first. I didn't care anymore. "But what did that mistake cost me?" My lips trembled with the pressure along my jaw that was so painful to bear. "It cost me Chae..."

Jennifer pulled me in her hug, giving me the support a friend would always give to another. I could feel how devastated she was feeling about Chae's death too. It was all along her arms that were holding me close.

"I have regrets too, Lisa" She said as our heads leaned against each other's. "I didn't make it to your place earlier than I should be" She let out her mistakes. "I should've said I have emergency matters and can't join the meeting"

I stammered. "I-I wasn't there for her, Jen. None of us was there-"

She loosened her grip, pushing the hug away and holding my face instead.

"You had a seminar, I had a meeting" Jennifer continued. "You know her, Lisa. We know her. Chae would never blame us for what happened"

"I would do anything to take it back, Jen" I sobbed. "I would do anything to turn back time-" I paused in tears painting my face. "...and make it right again"

Chae, come back to me.

I would let you arrange the kitchen the way you want.

I would let you make my bed the way you do yours.

I would let you fold my clothes the way you always do.

Just, come back to me.

I would let you take care of me this time.

Baby please?

▪️▪️▪️

I decided to leave The Kims' place since I couldn't stay in there alone. Everything was so quiet. They all had gone to work like I was supposed to. But I was already suspended from my duty and nobody at the station called me for further instructions about my suspension.

They could still considering about how long the suspension period would be, especially Cooper, he would have so many things to consider on his shoulders.