A Phoenix With No Wings

49- You were Never a Monster

"This is sure a poem about a fool. He won't get anything from fishing in the mud. Even if he got something, it is too nasty to feed his family. In summary, it's about a person who did useless stuff."

"Hm. How about consort's interpretation?" The crown prince asks because what Consort Hua just explain is the general meaning of the poem.

"If you read it from the bottom up, it gives different meaning." She says. "And that's how This consort likes to interpret it."

"Hmm.. interesting way of thinking ." The crown prince nods.

"For his family needs and demand, he is willing to become a fool in the eyes of everyone. Everyday he goes through hardship and distress, wishing the next day will be different. But in the end, it is still the muddy pond waiting for him." She explains. "He surely is a fool." The consort smiles painfully.

"He is not a fool. Because his motivation is pure and upright. He already did his best, in fact, the outcome is not on his hands to decide. Whatever he did, I believe it won't be waste." His tone is soft but sure, giving Consort Hua comforts that she desperately needs.

Consort Hua looks up at him. She doesn't expect him to say that. The crown prince makes her feel..understood. All these years, finally she meet someone who doesn't judge her. Someone who is willing to listen.

______

The crown prince decided to go visit Consort Hua's place today. But at what time? The consort didn't specify yesterday. He finally decided to not go early, because the consort might still sleep in the morning.

When the sun goes up, he thinks is the best to go. But,

"Crown prince, here is your lunch." An eunuch come with egg dish and fried fish.

"I don't need that. I have to go somewhere."

"Where crown prince? How about your lunch?"

"I'll eat it later. This crown prince need to visit someone."

"Right now might not be the best time, because it's lunchtime."

That's right, he thinks. The crown prince doesn't want to disturb Consort Hua's lunch so he decided to go later.

"Okay then."

"Where should this servant put the food?"

"No need."

"Huh?" The servant is confused, didn't the crown prince just agree to go later?

"This crown prince have to make something to bring there."

It took him a few hours to finished his calligraphy. The crown prince is satisfied with his work and prepares to leave.

When he arrives at Consort Hua's palace, the guard stop him. They all looks confused why is the crown prince visit at this time. But the guards are too afraid to extrude the crown prince, so they let him in.

As the crown prince walks into the study, he sees a painting on the wall. A guy fishing into dark pond. This is very interesting for the crown prince, because they said Consort Hua is illiterate.

"Has the consort ever heard of 'The Fool Who Fishes in the Mud' ?" He asks.

Her explanation is very deep, he lost words. Is this the consort Hua that everyone know? She is such an intelligent scholar.

"It must be hard, isn't it?"

"What do you mean, crown prince?"

"Pretending to be someone else."

Consort Hua is taken aback by his words.

"H-how do you k-know?"

The crown prince just smile as an answer.

"A victim of greed." He commented. "Is it the time to be yourself again?" He smiles, feeling happy for her.

"Unfortunately, there's no time left." She says sadly, unable to lift her head.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I have 2 weeks it's not that bad."

How can someone be so calm when they are dying?

It's because she has had enough of life.

Her life is so miserable that death seems to be a better option.

"But I'm happy, in my very limited time here, I can meet you." The Consort says, not using any honorific to the crown prince.

"I have never thought that I would be able to feel it. Love." She smiles at the crown prince, an honest smile.

The crown prince frowns, is this a confession?

"Who would've guessed that a monster could fall in love.." her eyes are full of tears, yet she tries to stop herself from crying.

"..." the crown prince couldn't say a word back. But in the end, he answers,

"Consort Hua, you were never a monster."

Thanks for reading!