Chapter 14

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Hong rejoiced in her victory, her plan had been a success. Now she didn’t have to wait for her turn to go to the beach, because the others would often suggest it themselves. She was very satisfied, now she could have the summer she dreamed of while looking outside from her classroom window: no more boring stuff indoors, her summer days will be filled with real summer-bliss, like swimming with her friends, resting on the beach, taking walks on the shore... just like a real summer should be.

It was not a complete victory, though. She was a little disappointed because  apparently she hadn’t won Wei over. She thought she had: she had tried so hard to please him, knowing that he loved books, and was rather bothered when it came Wei’s turn and he still chose to go to the mall saying that he wanted to ‘buy the book’.

'What difference does it make?!?!' She thought. 'You could borrow it from Arcova's library and read it first (while I'm swimming with Jin) and if you like it, just buy it on a rainy day!' but of course she kept the thought to herself.

She couldn't know that for Wei a day at the mall felt like having a ‘free day’ from the exquisite torture that was seeing Yunlan like that and not being able to touch him.. and every time they went there, he thought of not joining them, but he simply couldn’t stay away. It bothered him immensely. He felt disloyal towards Ren and a bad friend towards Yunlan. He started to despise himself like never before.

He was relieved when Ren phoned him saying that he was coming back in a few days, cutting by half their time apart.

As soon as he came back, Ren showed up at his door.

They went into Wei’s room. After locking the door, he turned towards Ren and remained speechless. He could read so much in those eyes, Ren loved him, Ren wanted him, Wei felt so unworthy of him that he almost cried. 

Ren put his arms around his waist to hug him and bring him closer, slowly leaned down to kiss him while one hand slid under his shirt. Wei wanted to find himself again into that warm embrace, and so he let him go on when the other hand joined the first in caressing his chest and back. He felt a rush of desire but something was tugging at his heart.

He tried to ignore it, pulling Ren even closer and circling his waist with his arms. Ren’s kiss was more and more passionate, but when Wei closed his eyes to give in to him, Yunlan’s image filled his brain, with his eyes closed he couldn’t recall Ren’s face at all, all he saw was Yunlan’s eyes, Yunlan’s arms, Yunlan’s body...

Wei suddenly broke the kiss and took a couple of steps back, turning his face away so Ren wouldn’t see his shame.

Ren looked at him, got closer without touching him, and whispered, "I love you."

Shen Wei started crying.

Ren's heart was bleeding. He thought he knew what was going on, but he couldn’t let go without trying.

"I love you," he repeated. "And always will."

"You shouldn't," was Wei's reply.

Ren leaned closer and whispered in his ear, "I do love you."

"No! Don’t, I’m horrible."

"You’re adorable."

"Im despicable."

"You’re wonderful," Ren whispered.

Wei kept crying silently, so Ren sighed and murmured, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Then he left.

Once alone, Wei fell on the bed burying his face in the pillow; he had tried to move on but had failed, he knew now that he couldn't reciprocate Ren's feelings. Such a wonderful person, and he couldn't bring himself to love him like he deserved!

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