Suicide Note

Chapter 6- Plot Twist

I could see him standing outside my window. His figure was strange and emotionless.

"Christopher, darling, what are you doing out there?" I said, laughing. But no response. "Chris..?" 

His stare was cold. Cold and empty. I wanted to reach out for him but I couldn't. I felt something dragging me back. I was struggling to go to him, I was calling his name, but he was just standing there, staring in emptiness. I finally succeeded to release myself from the force, but it was too late. He was gone. Oh, how I was crying after him. My poor love.. I felt a touch on my shoulder. It was him. I felt relieved. He caressed my face with both his hands as I was smiling, then he lowered to my neck. I could feel how his hands were strangulating my neck. I was nearly out of breath. Then I woke up.

I was breathing fast and I started crying. It was awful. My first instinct was to call Christopher, to hear his sweet voice telling me not to worry, that he is here for me. But I couldn't. His number wasn't in my agenda. What the f- 

I looked in my messages to find our texts, but they weren't there. This morning is awfully creepy. I said to myself. As I was thinking of a reason why this could have happened, it hit me. It was all...just a dream... It wasn't real... The party, his breakdown, the park, it was all just a dream... BUT HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE? I-I-I felt the weeks pass and-and it was all too realistic and it was such a long dream, no! No! It can't be! Christopher will call me later on today, yes he will, he will because he loves me and I love him and... NO!  No!  

I was crying in despair. It can't be a dream, no, because if it was, I wouldn't be crying so hard right now, no... no...

But it actually was. No wonder why everything was so sudden. And no wonder why it happened. How could anything so beautiful ever happen to me? Foolish child. Just get over it. 

And I did. Even though the dream made me change certain aspects of my life, including my relationship with other people and my obsession over school. 

I started talking to Christine more, we started going out more often (and by going out I DO NOT mean dating, thank you), I tried to start making friends with other people, it was all good. 

But, from time to time, I would remember my weird experience with the very realistic dream and every single one I would think How was it possible... It was so beautiful tho. But that would be all. I would just forget it afterwards and I would resume reading my book.

I confess that there were times when I would try hard and wish to dream the same thing as that night, but I would just fall asleep while trying. I remember once missing his lovely voice.

By the way, the 10th of July was just in my dream. The actual date of the dream was somewhere in August. I remember that because I know only a couple weeks were left until school started again.  

Yes, when I went out with Christine, I would have wished to randomly bump into Christopher (wow, the coincidence of names) but it didn't happen. Then. It didn't happen then. But the starting of  school would've brought me a great surprise that I was slightly expecting, somehow, vaguely. 

Actually, the story begins now. And sorry for the sudden turning of events.