Suicide Note

Chapter 5

We were holding hands. So tight that you would've thought we're never going to see each other again. The dark doomed over the empty park.

"Your hand's still cold, dear." I said while putting my other hand over his. He looked down and smiled. The night was quiet. We didn't talk much. We didn't need to. 

"Did I tell you how happy I am to be with you here? How glad I am that we didn't have to go trough months of seeing each other until I could finally say that I love you? It's been a very small time and everything happened so fast but... Alex, do you believe me when I say so?" he stopped, turned to me and took both my hands into his.  "Do you believe me when I say I love you?" It seemed quite weird for someone to ask this. Of course I believe you, idiot! I thought. 

"Yes, yes I do, but why are you even asking me?" 

"Look, I- it doesn't matter now. I just wanted to make sure. I was worried that you might have considered me insane. It was weird, I know." he laughed. "I'll stop now before making thinks more awkward." he laughed again. 

"No, no, you're not. I think it's cute that you're worried. It shows me that you care. You know, when I saw you at the party there, I felt I loved you from the first sight. Not literally the first one, but you understand. I hope." I smiled. "I mean, if it wouldn't have happened to me too, I wouldn't've believed you." He was shyly smiling, biting his lip. It was the most beautiful thing. He was the most beautiful thing. Person.  The next thing I knew was that he was holding me in his arms in the middle of the darkness. 

"It's so beautiful feeling your heartbeat, love." he said 

"Can you never let go?" I said while keeping my head on his shoulder. 

"If you give me the chance to, I promise I never will." 

"Aww, yes, of course I will, I love you!" Yes, I did actually say aww. It was too sweet not to, seriously. I was so nervous and happy and I still am now, when I remember. It really was beautiful, I wouldn't have given the moments like these for anything, even if knowing the consequences that followed. 

He kissed my cheek, then passed his hand trough my hair. It was near to midnight. I had to leave. He offered to walk me home. All the way we would be talking about things we commonly liked, like our favorite books, music and he would randomly start singing some lyrics from this lovely song, I would smile and then we'd just stare at one another for a couple of seconds and then move on. When we arrived home, we kissed and hugged goodbye, looking after one another as we left. 

I remember, that night, my mother was awake and as soon as I opened the door, she asked me if the guy from earlier was the one I was talking about a while ago because he looked really good and she wanted me to keep him. I didn't even question how my mother already knew that we were together, but I think that a kiss in front of the door would make things pretty clear.

This is how the real story began.