Pretty Kind of Dirty Face {Matty Healy}

07 // Haunt // Bed

{I can't exist within my own head, so I insist on haunting your bed}

When Matty and I finally stumbled into the motel room, we still weren't speaking. I wasn't entirely sure if it was because of my refusing to hold his hand or my stubbornly refusing to speak first. It wasn't my fault he felt uncomfortable that I didn't like him touching me. But despite my stubbornness, I couldn't help wanting to stop the voices that kept echoing in my head, haunting me every step I took.

He hates you now.

How are you going to share a room with him? He won't even look at you.

You really fucked it up now and it barely even started.

Matty flipped on the lights. The room looked cheap and dirty -- just like I'd expected -- but the thing that surprised me the most was the bed. Or rather, the number of beds. Instead of the typical two full sized ones, or even two twins that were pushed in close to each other, this motel had just one bed stuck in the middle of the room.

I didn't even have to open my mouth before Matty spoke up. "Look, I know this isn't totally ideal but it's cheaper and honestly it isn't that big of a deal is it?"

I laughed. "No, it's fine." I slept in the same bed as Cecily many times. It was perfectly fine. But I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable -- this was different and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

Matty let out a breath. "Great. This is the same room I always get anyway, so I'm glad I don't have to change things." He tossed his keys onto the desk in the corner of the room and turned to come sit with me on the bed. "Wanna play truth or dare?"

I hesitated. If it were a girls night with Cecily I would be totally into it. Or even if it were a big party where I had a little too much to drink. But in a hotel room with a completely sober Matty? I wasn't sure it was a good idea. Nevertheless, I accepted his offer.

"You go first," he said, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," I said, opting for the usually easier option. It was a good ice breaker.

"Hmmm. . . . What's the most illegal thing you've done?"

"What?" I was expecting something more . . . threatening? I wasn't quite sure. I was sure he would open his mouth and use his question to either insult me or humiliate me. But strangely enough, he didn't.

"You just seem like such a good girl. I want to know what the baddest thing you've done is."

I thought for a second. "Drinking underage with Cecily?"

Matty shook his head. "Nope. Doesn't count if it's just at Cec's house. That's not even remotely bad."

I sighed. Matty was right, I really was a good girl. I couldn't think of a single thing I'd done that was considered even a little bit illegal. "Breaking into that music shop with you?"

He laughed. And he kept laughing, even through the sentence he tried to get out. "Seriously? that's the worst thing you've done?!"

Yep. Truth or Dare had successfully embarrassed me. Lovely. "Shut up," I murmured. Then, more confident, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," he said, leaning forward closer to me and licking his lips.

I laughed, pretending that the focus on his lips didn't get to me. "Write a song about me."

"Right now?"

"No, you can have an extension on this one to . . . a week from now."

"Perfect. I'll take you up on that. Truth or dare?"