Pretty Kind of Dirty Face {Matty Healy}

14 // Intro / Set 3

{why you sitting round here for? why is that?}

I woke up alone, wrapped in a knit blanket rather than Matty's arms. I rolled over to see Matty in the driver's seat, fully clothed and just parking the car.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around me more to cover up, although I didn't see the point. Matty had already seen everything I had to hide just a few hours prior.

He turned around in his seat once the van was safely parked in the lot of the hotel. He smiled at me. "You looked so peaceful, I couldn't disturb you." He paused, just looking at me for a second, that same goofy smile on his face. Then he snapped out of it, shaking his head. "Anyway, we're at the hotel. Did you wanna do anything?"

"Well, I never really gave the matter much thought. I mean, I wasn't exactly expecting to come with you tonight."

I instantly regretted saying it out loud, but we both knew it was true. Matty's smile faded as he remembered just how fragile this whole evening was. Yes, I ended up with him. Not only that, but I ended up sleeping with him. But just hours prior, I was dead set against it. If I changed my mind that quickly, I was terrified I was going to change it again. And I was sure Matty was worried about the same thing.

"I'll go check us in and then we can go do something, how does that sound?" Matty asked softly.

"Sounds great. I'll . . . get dressed, I guess."

Matty got out of the van and shut the door. I gathered together the clothing I'd strewn around the back of the van and put it all on before crawling back into the front to sit in the passenger's seat again. I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my bag, finding several badly misspelled messages from Cecily letting me know that she was "debunk" and that she "lives" me and also that she hoped Matty and I were having a great time "ducking." Autocorrect definitely did not do her a favor this time. Nevertheless, I knew what she meant. And I desperately hoped that George was looking after her, considering I wasn't there to hold her hair back as she threw up.

I had little time for contemplating George and Cecily's relationship before Matty joined me again in the van, turning the keys in the ignition and putting it in reverse. "Let's go back to the music store," he said excitedly. "I'll play you some of my stuff."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "More songs about me?"

"None that are finished yet," he whispered as he leaned in closer and gave me a peck on the lips before pulling out of the parking lot.

Maybe it was the fact that Matty was writing more songs about me or maybe it was just the feeling of his lips on mine again, but I was unable to control my heartbeat racing in my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to calm it down, but nothing changed. I was stuck sitting in Matty's passenger seat while my heart did somersaults.

After what seemed like hours of silence in the van, we pulled around the back of the music shop we had broken into last time. "Is this still the worst thing you've done?" Matty asked as he opened the door.

"Yeah," I responded quietly, not wanting to say out loud that having sex in a parking lot with Matty Healy was almost worse. I wasn't even entirely sure how I felt about him, I just knew I wanted him. I wanted to fuck him and I did and now what? I wasn't quite sure. Were we together now? I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't figure Matty out.

He chuckled as we entered the shop and he flipped on the lights. Immediately he gravitated toward an acoustic guitar and started strumming chords.

I pulled up a stool and sat in front of him, his audience of one. "Play me one of your songs," I whispered, leaning in close. "One that isn't about me, this time."