A drop here, a drop there (a one-shots/snippet book)

And the rain washed it all away (Welcome to Night Vale)

It took him a year to realize that the emptiness he felt, looking at the remains of his destroyed work, was nothing if it was Cecil that he lost.

And oh, how he hated himself. The realization was happy for him at first, like it was the biggest breakthrough he ever had in his life out of all the scientific breakthroughs he had–and it was–but soon, as he gazed upon the gloom of a cloudy Night Vale that was washed in rain, the memories of how he treated Cecil this past year came rushing in and he was left with self-loathing. And regret.

And now, he shouted at Cecil. He regretted that, too.

Carlos pulled away, suddenly unable to bear to have someone touching him. Or rather, he didn't deserve to have Cecil's comfort, and Cecil didn't deserve to come in contact with someone as disgusting as him. Cecil let him put distance between them, and Carlos sat against the headboard, face buried in his arms as he wrapped them around his knees. He trembled with silent tears and nails dug into skin.

"Cecil, I don't understand," He whispered brokenly into the darkness. "How can you–please. Please, tell me what you really think. Why–why are you still like this. Others–they left. They would've left by now. Tell me, I don't–I don't..." He fell silent, unable to say anymore.

Carlos felt shifting beside him as, presumably, Cecil also rose to sit against the headboard. After a few seconds, Carlos sniffed and peeked up to see that Cecil sat with his head titled slightly upwards, eyes distant, peering at some place that Carlos couldn't hope to predict with his calculations. Carlos dropped his face again, and they sat in silence.

A silence that was noticeably different from before.

Cecil's voice broke through the thickness of it permeating the room, soft and gentle like melted butter under the surface of hot metal. It was quiet, but his voice seemed to vibrate through every unseen molecule in the air.

"Do remember how we started living together? The condos?"

"...Yeah? It was–scientifically speaking, it was one of the most happiest moment in my life," Carlos said, voice becoming quieter as he continued to speak until he can be barely heard, his face heating slightly.

A chuckle, and he can hear the smile in his voice.

"It showed us the way to perfection. It showed us that it can wash away all of our flaws and we can become perfect human beings. At that point, we haven't been dating very long, and we were learning little things about each other. I learned... that you chew too loudly, that you don't call or text when we can't meet up, that you forget we even had a date, that you spend all of your attention on science and spend little of it on your new relationship. I also learned that you sometimes leave equipment on just anywhere, and sometimes you have to run off in the middle of dinner for a scientific and possibly dangerous phenomena."

With everything that Cecil listed, Carlos shrunk more and more into himself. He remembered. He remembered how sad and disappointed Cecil was at times, and how, even as Carlos tried to make up for it, he would think to himself, this is it. This is where Cecil would have enough and leave him. They always leave, why should Cecil be any different? Why am I like this?

Then Cecil continued in an even softer voice, "But Carlos, Carlos, look at me." And Carlos can feel him leaning closer. He hesitantly raised his head, but his eyes couldn't quite look at Cecil, so he stared at the shadows behind the other man.

Cecil touched his face, reminiscent of their first date, and said, "Carlos, look at me, please."

And this time Carlos did, and Cecil's gaze was full of earnestness and warmth. They trapped him under their weight, and he was left frozen and without breath.