THIS girl. This girl has been sad for months. She's been trying to make sense of the world, of her life, of her choices to the point that she's become uncaring of how things turn out. She acts like she's not afraid of failure and heartbreak so that when it finally comes around, she doesn't know how to feel. She tries to be happy. Tries to put on a smile at work for her patients and bring them hope and comfort when deep down she's struggling.
Has been for months. She doesn't really know how to break the cycle. Just when she thinks she's becoming better, she falls back into sin or a setback that reminds her of all the times she's failed before and how this wouldn't be any different. She desires to hear the voice of her father, but hasn't been able to hear him for months.
She's becoming a woman she didn't know existed, and wished disappeared. She wakes up some mornings, emotionless, just going through the motions of life praying no one notices, while some mornings she sits in her car and lets out a yell so loud that only her soul can hear as she bangs against her steering wheel.
She's really trying to like herself, she REALLY is. She just doesn't know how. She hopes that one day she'll get back to her old self, because that's the only thing keeping her going and the fact that god said that he would never leave or forsake her. Deuteronomy 31:8. 💙 She's really trying. My heart breaks for her everyday because I don't want her to fail. We can't. We have to live..despite everything that we feel. We have to make it. And we have to be okay.
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Song at the top ^^ Fighting For Me by Riley Clemmons
YOU ARE READING
Toxic Traits
SpiritualI need you to fight for me, because I know you're my therapy. - - - It's okay NOT to be okay sometimes. Be honest with God and pour your heart out. He wants to hear you. He wants to see you. He doesn't want you to pretend. He knows you hurt.
