Dear, God
When you see me, what do you see? Do you see a girl who spent years ignoring people and hurting everyone else and still playing the victim? Do you see the girl who ruined so many families and still thought it wasn't her fault? Do you see the girl who played on her phone in the bathroom during lunch because she was too afraid to eat in the cafeteria because she knew she wouldn't have any friends to talk to? Dear God, what do you see when you look at me. Do you see the girl who almost left home one night because she didn't know what to do after her mistakes? Do you see the girl who broke her mother's heart and made her step sister want to commit suicide? Do you see the girl that hated herself so much that she wanted to die? That she wanted so much to disappear that she contemplated taking her own life. What do you see?
You see the girl you loved so much no matter what she did even though it was wrong. You saw the girl who worshiped at church even though she didn't have a reason to even lift her hands. When I spent a whole hour at church telling myself how dirty and ugly and broken I was, you sent your child, Erin, to tell me just how beautiful I was. How you still saw me as someone worth loving no matter my faults. That you still loved me no matter what I had done and you forgave me even though I didn't deserve it. You showed me favor even when you shouldn't have. When you look at me what do you see? Sometimes I wonder if you're ever disappointed in me? God, when you look at me, what do you see? What do you see, God, please please tell me, because right now I don't know why but it seems like my vision is being clouded and like everything just seems off, and it shouldn't be. No matter what, I trust in you and will keep your promises, but God, please help me to see me like you do God, and not this person that myself and the world has written me out to be.
Sincerely, your daughter, child of the most high God.
I love you and I thank you for your peace and that you see me as someone worth loving, someone worth using to spread your love to others, and I will start to see myself as that too. In jesus's name, Amen.
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Song at the top ^^ God Only Knows by For King & Country
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Toxic Traits
SpiritualI need you to fight for me, because I know you're my therapy. - - - It's okay NOT to be okay sometimes. Be honest with God and pour your heart out. He wants to hear you. He wants to see you. He doesn't want you to pretend. He knows you hurt.
