Signed Away

28

"Trouble in paradise?" Cassie smirked at us as we walked in the hospital room.

"No. We're fine." I lied, but the bags under Alex's eyes and my permanent frown said otherwise.

Alex and me didn't exactly resolve our issue. A week has passed and we refused to talk about what had happened. Mostly because we just wanted to get over it. I had trust issues and that was my problem that I had to work out, but the tension between Alex and me was still there.

"Could have fooled me." She rolled her eyes.

Thank goodness the doctor came in at that moment because I did not know what to say with my husband and my husband's ex lover in that tiny room.

"Let's get started shall we?" That doctor smiled at all of us. She seemed very bubbly and happy, unaware of the tension in the room.

She squeezed out some jelly on Cassie's stomach and moved the transducer over her stomach.

In just a few seconds the feed appeared on the monitor.

"There's your little baby!" The doctor said happily.

"Oh my god." I gasped. I moved closer to take a better look.

Out of the three of us, I was the most excited probably.

"Did you want to know the sex?"

I looked at Alex and Cassie to see what they wanted to do, but they both just shrugged as if they could care less.

I turned around to the doctor and nodded my head eagerly.

The doc looked some more and a smile spread across her face. "Congratulations! You're having a baby girl!"

"A girl!" I exclaimed. This was probably the most happy I felt all week.

"We're having a girl?" Alex finally spoke up for the first time since we got in the room.

"That's right. She's about the size of a plum right now."

Alex got closer to us. He was standing directly behind me now. "Our little plum baby."

I looked up at him and gave him a weird look.

"What?" He laughed.

"And you say I'm the weird one." I scoffed.

The doctor printed out the ultrasound pictures and handed one to Alex and me and the other to Cassie.

"Nah I'm good." She shook her head at the photos and walked out of the room.

"Thank you doc." I gave her a hug as we walked out of the hospital.

"Fuck." Alex cursed under his breath.

Through the glass doors I could see Cassie being bombarded by paparazzis. They were buzzing, wanting to know what this high profile model was doing at the hospital. Did she hurt herself? Was she sick? Even better, was there someone dying? It's pathetic really.

To make matters worse, Alex and me were here with her. If they caught sight of us, it would be a storm that's for sure.

So, Alex and me decided to just wait it out in the lobby. For two hours we sat there waiting, just to be sure the coast was completely clear.

The wait was painfully long.

You know how they say time flies when you're having fun? Or time flies when you're with the right company?

Well this was definitely not one of those times. In fact, this was the last place I wanted to be.

"We should talk." Alex's voice brought me out of my trance.

"About what?" I said cluelessly even though I knew full well what he was talking about and he gave me a look to signal that he knew I knew.

I let out a puff. "It's not that big of a deal."

"It clearly is."

"I just... it'll pass. I don't understand why we have to talk about it. It's clear that you weren't with that girl so it's whatever. Let's move on."

"But the problem isn't that I was with the girl. It's because you don't trust me!" His voice raises a little and heads were turning now.

I grabbed his arm. "This isn't the right place or time." I whispered.

He pulled his arm back from me, but lowered his voice so he wasn't as loud anymore. "If not now then when? You and I both know the moment we get home, you're just going to find any way to avoid me."

He wasn't wrong.

"Fine. Let's talk." I gave in. "You wanna y'all about trust? How about the fact that you have not given me any validation whatsoever."

"Validation on what?"

"On this! On us!" I exclaimed. "Since the beginning, you've always been hot and cold. I can never read you. I hate that I wake up each day not knowing what version of you I was going to get that day. I hate wondering if today is the day that you're going to bring a new girl home or maybe the day that you shower me with gifts. You don't understand how hard this all has been for me." By now my voice was shaking as tears threatened to spill.

"Lottie... I had no idea you felt that way."

"Well how could you? You never asked and I would never bring it up." I dabbed my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt before the tears could actually fall.

"I didn't realize how badly I'd hurt you. Honestly. If I could go back in time I'd do it. Swear." He put his hand on my thigh and rubbed small circles around it trying to comfort me. "Both of us need to work on communicating with each other better."

I let out a small chuckle. "I agree."

"Come here." He pulled me into a hug. "Promise me whenever something is bothering you, you don't keep it bottled in? Trust me. Whatever it is I can take it and I don't want you to have to feel scared."

I tightened my arms around him. "I'll try."

"No don't try. Promise me."

I hesitated for a bit. Vulnerability is something that I always struggled with. Sharing my feelings and emotions is something very foreign to me. That's not really a thing I did with my dad and hell would freeze over before  I shared anything with Trisha.

My voice was barely a whisper, but he had heard it. "I promise."

I could feel him smiling into my hair as he pressed a kiss to my temple.

"I love you." He grinned at me.

"Looks like it's clear to go." I diverted my eyes over to outside.

I could see a slight disappointment on his face when I didn't say I love you back. All I know is that when I do, it'll be the most beautiful feeling in the world.