Signed Away

12

"So have you guys done the deed yet?" Ashley wiggled her brows at me.

"Never going to happen." I chucked a handful of popcorn at her face which only made her laugh any more.

"I know you want to. " Alicia chimed in.

"Remind me to never invite you guys over for girls night ever again." I groaned and shoved some more popcorn into my mouth.

We laughed and joked some more when Ashley went silent. "You know. It's time you put yourself out there..." She spoke up.

Alicia and I both snapped to look at her. "Ashely. I'm married." I chucked nervously not sure where she was going with this.

"No. I know. I meant with Alex."

"That's not going to happen Ash. Let it go." I said sternly.

"Lots I love you, but I'm gonna have to agree with Ash. We just want whats best for you." Alicia spoke up. Traitor.

"I know Alex. He's one of my closest friends. He's not as bad as you think he is."

"No. He's worst." I deadpanned.

"Why won't you allow it to happen? Are you scared" Ashely questioned me.

"Because I don't love him and he hates me more than I hate him. Everything about this is not right! And no. I'm not scared."

"Lottie, if you just open up to him, he'll open up to you. Trust me. Alex isn't who you think he is. He has all these walls built up around him and if you took the time to get to know him, you'll she what I see and that's a loving man. He's nothing like Decl-"

I cut Ashley off. "Don't say his name."

She didn't say anything else and Alicia just sat there playing with her fingers.

There was an awkward silence before I decided to speak up. " You guys should leave. I'm swamped with work." I stood up and began to clean up.

"Lottie." Ashley grabbed my arm. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything."

I gave her a sad smile. "I know and I love you. I just am really busy."

The two nodded and helped me clean up the mess before leaving.

Alicia walked out first, but Ashley lingered by the door. Her face looked like she was in pain, but didn't know what to say.

"Ash. I'm fine. You're fine. I know you were coming from a good place, I truly get it. Don't think about it too much okay?" I reassured her. I was genuine about every thing I said. I wasn't mad. I knew she didn't mean to hurt me.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry again if I crossed a line. I just want you to be happy is all."

"I know babe. It's all good.

"Alright well I'll see you tomorrow at the launch. You're gonna kill it!" She hugged me.

After she left I went back inside. Everything was set for tomorrow evening. All I had to do today was relax and stop stressing out. All I could think about was all the wrong things that could possibly happen. What if there wasn't enough food, the music sucked, or people didn't like the clothes.

That night I couldn't even get a wink of sleep. I woke up the next morning not only stressed and nervous, but now I can add exhausted to the list. My most important day so ironically is also one of my worst days.

The butterflies in my stomach made me so sick. I couldn't even sit still while the make up artist was working on my face. I'm pretty sure she got really annoyed at me.