How Could I

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by oaet_meal

by oaet_meal

How could I be so selfish?
How could I be so mean?
How could I want to it all to end?

I've been pushing along for quite some time. I always want to give up but end up making it in the end.

I should be grateful!
Stop taking things for granted!
There is more to life than this!

Here we are,
Becoming the person I once said I'd never be again.

I carry a lot with me.
Everything seems to go wrong.
Keep moving forward because it'll be better in the long run.

I've got a roof over my head.
I've got food to eat.
I've got a steady job.
I am far more fortunate than some.

See, I know I have some people who love me. Who want me to continue going. But it doesn't change this feeling.

It gets better!
It gets better!
It gets better!

I do not agree.
Every day seems to be on repeat.
Moving along, going nowhere.
My heart feels heavy.
I should be happy.
It could be a lot worse.

My family needs me.
I have a future to look forward to.
I need to keep pushing.

Too angry.
Too jealous.
Too sad.

I'd like to stop existing.