If Only

Chapter 42

Austin's POV

The next morning, I wake up earlier than normal and I decide to go for a little run around campus before returning to my dorm to do my normal morning routine. I enter my Psychology class that is taught by the brilliant Mrs. Quinn and take my normal seat near the front and get everything out that I am going to need before I relax back into my chair as I think of lying to Katie and Jonathan last night, and of course never to far away from my mind is Garrett who I haven't seen lately thanks to Logan blackmailing me. I snapped out all my thoughts by the sound of the bell and as I look up at the clock I can't believe that thirty minutes seem to pass by in no time. Mrs. Quinn walks in locking the door behind her as class starts."Today we will be discussing chapter 41 which is on the human conscience, and I am very curious to see that everyone thinks about this subject. Mrs. Quinn opens her textbook. 

"We aren't going to waste any time today, let's get right too it with a discussion on why sociopaths are considered to have no conscience." I quickly raise my hand because I think this is a lesson that I relate to. "Mr. Black." Mrs. Quinn calls on me. "Psychological profiling dictates that someone with no conscience exhibit certain features that therapist and doctors are trained to look for."Mrs. Quinn nods her head as she leans against the podium. "Can you please give the class an example." I quickly think and of course the one thing that comes to my mind is Logan. "A sociopath's only goal in life is to have gratification for just themselves and no one else, and that is why so many people in the world are victims." I lean back in my chair as the whole classroom is quiet, but that doesn't last long as someone finally speaks up, "That is such bull,everyone in the world wants to feel like they are the best, and to label someone a sociopath just because they like to the attention more is just plain wrong." 

I look across the aisle way to see that is was Logan that choose to speak up."Mr. Price if would please give us your take on the subject." Logan smiles his callous smile as he leans forward in his chair. "Studies have shown that sociopath's can come from anywhere, is has nothing to do with how they were raised but it has everything to do with biological and genetic factors." Logan slams his textbook closed and tosses it to the ground. "You are saying that you believe in the nature VS nurture." Logan nods his head causing me to stare at him and from the look on his face and the passion in voice I would seem like I have hit some kind of nerve with him.

"Those kinds of people play on the main fact that as humans most of us are trusting and forgiving, trying try to enslave a victim and tend to exercise control in all aspects of the person they are tormenting and treat everything in any kind of relationship to a sociopath is looked at a one big game instead of doing the right thing and seek help." I snap at Logan, and I am not going to let Logan Price, who is the biggest sociopath that I have ever met win this argument."Not everyone that is dealing with personal stuff run to a therapist, I know someone that is just figuring out he is gay, and I don't see him in any hurry to tell the people that he loves or sitting in a chair telling everything that is wrong in his life to shrink." I look at Logan with utter shock on my face and pure anger in my eyes because I know that this discussion has gotten personal. 

"That has nothing to do with this discussion, the fact is that sociopaths don't discriminate when it comes to getting what they want, they will use anything to their advantage even if it ruins the lives of everyone around them, and to them there is no difference rather it be friend or family because all they see is their next sucker!" I yell at Logan, and his face goes completely emotionless and turns to stone. "Maybe if the person wasn't so concerned about their uptight lifestyle and didn't worry 365 days a year about what their family thinks about them. They wouldn't have to hide the truth from everyone and could live an ordinary life of excitement instead of taken on a ride and being such a sucker!" Logan yells back at me clenching his hands into tight fists as his whole body tense up.

"Everything would be solved if the sociopath would actually feel some degree of guilt or remorse about their actions and how they impact the lives around them!" I scream at him, and in that moment the entire classroom goes so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, and I know that the whole class must have figured out that Logan and I are no longer talking about subject at hand. "I think this is a good place to stop for the day." Mrs. Quinn says as the bell rings dismissing the class. "Austin?" I hear Garrett say from behind me but I ignore him as I quickly shove my belongings into my bad and hurry out the classroom and back to my dorm room.

I make it back to my dorm room and slam the door and throw my stuff on the ground,"What has you so pissed off?" Katie asks walking out of the bedroom wearing only a black lace kimono. I just look at her smiling and rolling my eyes, "Logan Price, he is so narcissistic. Today in Psychology he had the nerve to try defending the actions of sociopaths, and I think that is only because he is the poster boy for the sociopaths everywhere." Katie lets out a small giggle, "You and Logan will never get along, kind of like Garrett and you." This makes me tense up a little bit but I gather myself before turning around to face her, "I wish I had half your confidents." I say walking into the kitchen as Katie follows behind me,

"You just need to learn to be fierce like me, and if you want my help I would be more than willing to help you find your own self confidents." I nod my head, "Thanks Boo." She sighs and walks up to me giving me a hug, "My first suggestion is for you stop dressing like you are an unpaid model from GAP." I look at her with a sour look on my face, "You are going to soak up every second of this aren't you."She nods her head before pulling away from me, "We can go shopping someday so,but I can't today because I am meeting Jonathan at the movies in an hour."Katie gives me a kiss on my cheek before walking away and into her room.

It is now night time and Katie has left leaving me alone in the dorm room with an action-packed romance movie, I am in middle of my favorite movie Titanic when the sound of yelling in the hallway catches my attention. "GET OUT OF MY FACE!" Yells a voice with a heavy British accent, and it is a voice that I know very well. I pause my movie before getting off my couch and walking over the door, and when I open it and step into the hallway I am not surprised to discover Garrett and another student who lives in the building.

I am about to say something to him but before I can get any words out Garrett tackles the guy to the ground and I know that I don't do something that both of them are going to get into trouble with chancellor Montgomery. "Garrett!" I yell walking over to the two guys and I place my hand on Garrett's shoulder and I am not sure if it was on purpose or a reaction but Garrett shoves my hand away and shoves me into the wall as the middle of my back hits the case that the fire extinguisher is in. The sound of my painful groan makes Garrett turn his vengeful eyes from the guy pinned under him and over to me and once he sees that it is me he quickly gets off the guy and rushes over to me,

"Austin, it was a response reaction." I nod my head already figuring out that it was, "It's okay, but maybe you should come in my dorm room before you get you into trouble." Garrett nods his head as he helps me to my feet and places one my arms over his shoulder as he helps me into my dorm room.