Amnesia

25.

"I feel so exhausted!" I sighed deeply and sat my car keys on the counter in the kitchen. "How does Sabrina do this every day?" I asked myself, putting my face into my hands.

"Mmm, Y/n, how do you feel?" Warm arms wrapped around me, startling me, but I quickly relaxed.

"I don't feel all that different. The energy just kind of left me and now I feel... drained." I responded softly, my voice not being able to go to my normal volume.

The older, blue eyed girl kissed my neck a couple times, allowing me to feel a little better. "Drained? Emotionally or-"

"Just drained." I cut her question off in a sudden annoyed mood. I removed her hands from my waist and ran to our bedroom, locking the door so she couldn't come in. I threw myself onto the bed, burying my face into the many pillows.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" The door knob twisted, but she found that I had locked it. "Why did you lock the door?"

"Sorry." I apologized, my voice muffled from the soft fluffy pillow.

There was a sigh from the other side of the door. "Don't apologize, because I'm not upset with you. What do you want for dinner then?" She asked, changing the subject.

"I'm not hungry. I'm just going to go to sleep. Goodnight." I said and I heard her walk away after she said a quick bye.

Surprisingly, Sabrina didn't come check on me like she usually does. She left me alone, allowing me to isolate myself for awhile.

I heard the muffled sounds coming from outside, being a lot of laughter and yelling. I recognized the voices, so I knew that it was Sabrina's friends and costars from the projects she's been working on. I closed my eyes and focused on my heartbeat, seeing if it would get me to sleep.

I mentally groaned when I realized that the only way that I would be able to sleep would be to have her next to me. But since I'm not in a good mood, I don't want to bother her by being clingy and pulling her away from her friends.

"Bearbear..." Her voice called out as she walked in. I remembered that there was two keys to each room. "You should come hang out with us."

I didn't respond back so she pulled the blanket off of my half covered face.

"Hi." She smiled at me and reached to pet my head, but I slightly flinched and she frowned.

"Are you okay?" She asked, retracting her hand.

"Yeah." I answered.

She tried to search for something in my eyes to see if I was telling the truth, but I did what I used to do. Shut down my emotions all together. "No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"Then why did you just shut down your emotions like that? You do that a lot now, like really often." She said, concerned, which just made me feel worse.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"This is just going to end up in another argument."

"I don't want it to and it doesn't have to." She took a few steps back. "So I'll just leave you alone." She said and turned to walk away, but I impulsively stopped her without thinking.

"Wait!" I called out and she turned around to face me. I thought for a moment on what I wanted to say, but I decided to not say anything. "Nevermind." I mumbled and she sent a sad smile.

"Well, call me if you need anything." She walked over to me and tilted my head up to meet her blue ocean eyes. Sabrina's soft lips met mine for a short, but passionate kiss before she pulled away. "I love you." She spoke before giving me another kiss on the cheek before leaving.

I slightly smiled at the interaction and sat up. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and changed into my jeggings and long sleeved croptop, forcing myself to get up and join Sabrina in the living room.

As I was walking through the hallway, I heard a conversation being had around the corner. "Does Y/n know?" A unrecognizable voice asked.

"Know what?" Sabrina's voice asked.

"That you used to be in a gang?" There was a lot of coughing that followed after, so I'm guessing she choked. Wait, what? This innocent girl that I've known for most of my life in a g- no. She wasn't and wouldn't ever be in-

"No, and I'm not in it anymore. I left that behind me. You should know that since you were, too." Her voice now hushed to a whisper responded back. "Now let's go back to everyone." I heard them walk down the hallway and to the direction that I was originally headed.

So, maybe I don't know her as well as I thought.

I shook my head and still went to the party that she was having. As soon as I walked in, Sabrina saw me and gestured over to me to come over. I did and she grabbed my hand, before kissing it and smiling brightly. "You two are so cute." I turned around quickly and saw an familiar face.

My brother.

I excused myself and dragged him to the backyard so nobody would hear the conversation. "W-what are you doing here?" I asked and he smiled.

"Sabrina invited me." He answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "So, are you going to give me a hug or not? I haven't seen you in awhile. You know, since mom and dad divorced."

"So if Sabrina invites you, then you can visit. If I do though, it's a whole different story. Is it because you didn't have the time, or because you just didn't want to see your sister?" I asked.

"Y/n, your hand," Sabrina's voice said and at the same time I broke the glass I was holding, shattering the cup and shards fall onto the floor. She looked at me wide-eyed and surprised. "Why are you getting so mad? I thought you would be happy to see your sibling." She said. I let go of what was left of the cup and turned to her.

"You called my brother? Why?" Tears were starting to form in my eyes and I didn't even try to hold them back. "Were you trying to upset me? Why would you ask him to come?" I was overwhelmed with my brother being at the party and me having a bad day in general to think about what I was saying.

"Please don't cry. You know I wouldn't ever want to hurt you. I didn't think that you would have such a negative reaction to seeing your brother."

"Are you still upset about last time we saw each other as a family?" He asked.

"What do you think?" I asked, tears falling down my face as I breathed out a shaky breath. "It's not like you didn't abandon your brother and sister and said you'd come back, but you never did. You left us with our parents." I sobbed out.

"Y/n, I was going to come get both of you, but I was scared."

"You were scared? How do you think we felt? When you left it just got worse for mostly me, because I tried my best to make sure my little brother didn't get hurt." He looked down at the grass and then met my eyes.

"I'm sorry that I didn't come back to help you two."

"I-I'm just so done. Leave me alone. Okay?" He sent a apologetic smile and left without saying anything else. Sabrina walked towards me, and I felt too drained to back away or walk inside the house.

"Y/n, I-" I interrupted her sentence. "Sabrina, it's okay. I'm just going to sleep now." I said and walked inside and went back to the bedroom, leaving the door open and not bothering to change clothes before climbing into bed.

I heard her walking in the hallway before she came into the room. "Y/n, I'm s-"

"Wait, Sabrina. If you're going to apologize, don't. I'm sorry for how I reacted and how I acted since I got home from the studio. I know that you didn't contact my brother to hurt me. I didn't mean what I said to you. I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings and I know you wouldn't want to hurt mine. So, can you just stay?" I asked the woman in front of me.

"Always." She answered as she laid beside me and wrapped me in her arms and rubbed my back. I cuddled into her and closed my eyes.

"I love you, Sabrina." I said, softly.

"I love you, too."