Villain in the Canvas

Chapter 10

As we slice through the dense vines and brush, I realize how ridiculous it was to assume everything I had experienced was simply a hallucination. Perhaps it was too much direct exposure to Ron's various tinctures and ointments over the years; only constructed from 'all-natural, organic, non-GMO' that pushed the limits for anyones mind, body, and spirit.

"Only truth can come from the natural connection one obtains from these potent plants. Remember no matter how jeopardizing they appear, these visions are just your physical illusions melting away, you're being released from this shell, this machine for your energy, your spirit." He would say these disconnected phrases that meant little to me, little to me until now.

These fear excursions into our limits of consciousness were designed to help us develop physical control over the body in midst of paralyzing drugs and stress. It also made normal functioning a cake walk; once you are able to build shelter in freezing temperatures with the forest itself reaching for you, everything else had the volume turned down.

Now a so called crisis calmed me, kept me centered at the task at hand. My anxiety came instead from a lack of such purpose, a lack of focus. That's where the drugs helped fill the chasms, the silence before the next simulated trauma.

This did not come from a single walk in woods, pitch black, 'man test' as us Stone boys would joking call it. Nope, it was developed over time, after an endless series of these simulated 'emergencies' that became normal to us through the years.

These general understandings returned to me, just nothing resembling the camping trip. My early years made sense to me, just nothing recent. As we ascend the trail separating the boulders I wonder why the afterlife felt so isolated, beautiful and invigorating sure, but still lonely.

"So, what about other people? I figured the population of the afterlife would include more than just the two of us?" I ask.

"Well there is no lack of space for people to get lost in here. This area may not seem that large but that is because we are focused on a destination and cutting through. Loners can get lost in the endless miles of these luscious woods, others will congregate if they wish for the company of others." Ron replies

"So you have more direct control over it. I was too concerned with chasing shadows and voices to take notice I could control it, I am usually better at picking up on the shortcuts."

"That's exactly it, where you placed your attention was what you chased, easy to miss the rest.  There are also multiple versions of the Cusp that all exist on the same vibrational plane. The Cusp is more than just jungle, some enjoy a snowy mountain top, others a grassy field, deserts even. All these various Cusps exist within same sphere, it's what links them into that specific plane of existence. Variations can be unique to an individual or even to groups depending on someone's preference. No end to what can exist here, as infinite as our creativity." Ron asserts.

I see we are drawing closer to the entrance of the dark forest as I stop alongside Ron. "Higher spheres? And so where is the Cusp in this order of higher and lower?"

"You asking if this is heaven or hell? Well, it's neither and it's both of them. It's the in between of both which results in a very 'earth like' plane."

"So this is basically purgatory. Limbo?"

Ron laughs, "No, I would say the classic image of a dismal purgatory would be at lower energy planes. The sphere of Shadowlands perhaps, we are just above it."

"So I am or not being judged for losing my shit and for beheading Hog-head?"

"You landed where your energy would allow you. Anything you feel you did you will have to face on your own but this place isn't about punishment as much as it is growth. We all have our crosses to bear, it's what makes us stronger. We become a better version of ourselves through these tests of pain and endurance."